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Downloaded from
YTS.BZ
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Official YIFY movies site:
YTS.BZ
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[a lone bird singing]
4
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[school bell rings]
5
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[soda fizzing]
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[soda pouring]
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♪ So it's one for the night
when I broke his heart ♪
8
00:00:32,073 --> 00:00:34,200
♪ One for the joke
that I took too far ♪
9
00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:37,663
♪ And it's one for the
dent in the rental car ♪
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♪ The doodles I'd undo ♪
11
00:00:39,790 --> 00:00:42,417
♪ I've got doodles I'd undo ♪
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00:00:42,458 --> 00:00:44,544
♪ And doodles I'd unmake ♪
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00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,588
♪ When the road is passing you ♪
14
00:00:46,630 --> 00:00:48,965
♪ Oh, there's nothing
I won't break ♪
15
00:00:49,007 --> 00:00:51,593
♪ I've got lies I'd
swap for truths ♪
16
00:00:51,635 --> 00:00:53,553
♪ And truths that I'd unsay ♪
17
00:00:53,595 --> 00:00:55,681
♪ So when the barman's
passing through ♪
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00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:58,558
♪ There is no knowing
what I'll take ♪
19
00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,102
♪ 'Cause it's one for the
night when I broke his heart ♪
20
00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:03,313
♪ One for the joke
that I took too far ♪
21
00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:05,440
♪ And it's one for the
dent in the rental car ♪
22
00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:07,818
♪ The doodles I'd undo ♪
23
00:01:07,859 --> 00:01:10,320
♪ And it's one for the
times when I let them win ♪
24
00:01:10,361 --> 00:01:12,363
♪ One for the light
that I let him dim ♪
25
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:15,951
♪ And it's one for a kiss
that should never have been ♪
26
00:01:15,992 --> 00:01:17,243
♪ The doodles I'd undo ♪
27
00:01:17,285 --> 00:01:22,539
[playful vocalizing]
28
00:01:22,582 --> 00:01:23,792
♪ So it's one for the chaos ♪
29
00:01:23,834 --> 00:01:25,210
♪ And one for the craic ♪
30
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:26,086
♪ One for the kiss ♪
31
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♪ I should not have done that ♪
32
00:01:27,295 --> 00:01:28,379
♪ And it's one for the lover ♪
33
00:01:28,420 --> 00:01:29,965
♪ That I'll never get back ♪
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00:01:30,006 --> 00:01:31,507
[deep exhale]
35
00:01:31,549 --> 00:01:33,343
♪ The doodles I'd undo ♪
36
00:01:33,384 --> 00:01:34,259
♪ Hey ♪
37
00:01:34,301 --> 00:01:38,598
[playful vocalizing]
38
00:01:43,186 --> 00:01:46,690
♪ And it's one for the lover
that I'll never get back ♪
39
00:01:47,398 --> 00:01:49,275
♪ The doodles I'd undo ♪
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00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:50,276
[tense drum hit]
41
00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:53,071
[birds chirping]
42
00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,572
[insects buzzing]
43
00:02:00,536 --> 00:02:02,956
[cheerful music playing]
44
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:04,040
Ladies and Ben,
how are we doing?
45
00:02:04,082 --> 00:02:05,792
[Claire] Hello.
46
00:02:05,834 --> 00:02:06,668
How's the bride?
47
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,294
Cool and collected. How else?
48
00:02:08,336 --> 00:02:09,755
How's my brother?
49
00:02:09,795 --> 00:02:11,172
He tried to run,
so I tied him up.
50
00:02:11,214 --> 00:02:12,423
Oh...
51
00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:13,258
kinky.
52
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[♪♪♪]
53
00:02:22,433 --> 00:02:26,103
-[engine idling]
-[rocks crunching]
54
00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:34,029
[suspenseful music creeps in]
55
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[engine stops]
56
00:02:36,823 --> 00:02:42,913
[♪♪♪]
57
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[door opens]
58
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:54,758
[Mark] I show up to the
University of Virginia
59
00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,384
fall semester, freshman year,
60
00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,219
confident, charming,
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00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,971
already well experienced
in the sexual arts.
62
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:01,765
-Mark.
-Who should be my roommate,
63
00:03:01,807 --> 00:03:03,892
but a skinny,
book-reading mama's boy.
64
00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:04,684
You cried that first night,
65
00:03:04,726 --> 00:03:05,977
-I remember.
Mark.
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00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,520
[Mark] Still dating his
high school sweetheart.
67
00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,564
Come all the way to Virginia
from bumfuck, Missouri...
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00:03:09,605 --> 00:03:10,398
St. Louis.
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00:03:10,440 --> 00:03:11,357
[Mark] Thinking he was there
70
00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:12,818
for an education
in higher learning,
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00:03:12,859 --> 00:03:15,486
only to realize that
he was actually there
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for an education
in the worldly ways
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00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:21,492
from his soon-to-be best friend
and eventual best man, Mark.
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Yes, he taught me so much.
75
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:25,621
Listen, I left my cufflinks
in the overnight bag.
76
00:03:25,663 --> 00:03:27,082
I might need you to grab them.
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Drink.
78
00:03:28,499 --> 00:03:29,250
I don't wanna get drunk.
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00:03:29,292 --> 00:03:30,126
I didn't say to get drunk.
80
00:03:30,168 --> 00:03:31,502
I said have a drink. Come on.
81
00:03:31,544 --> 00:03:32,628
Last thing you want is
to be tense at the altar.
82
00:03:32,670 --> 00:03:34,297
Last thing
I want is be distracted
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00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,841
because I have to piss.
84
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God...
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dammit!
86
00:03:43,598 --> 00:03:44,808
[Mark chuckles]
87
00:03:44,850 --> 00:03:45,934
-There you go.
-[glass clinks]
88
00:03:45,976 --> 00:03:47,060
Settle those nerves.
89
00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:49,771
You know, monogamy
doesn't scare some of us
90
00:03:49,813 --> 00:03:50,939
as much as it scares others.
91
00:03:50,981 --> 00:03:52,232
Who says it scares me?
92
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:54,025
You have six different
Stephanies in your phone.
93
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,902
Yeah, that was a
popular name in the '90s.
94
00:03:55,944 --> 00:03:57,612
Plus, I watched a lot of
"Full House" growing up.
95
00:03:57,653 --> 00:03:58,738
I'm pretty sure that
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00:03:58,780 --> 00:04:00,824
Jodie Sweetin taught me
everything there is
97
00:04:00,866 --> 00:04:02,450
to ever know about lust.
98
00:04:02,492 --> 00:04:03,994
You could at least
get their last names.
99
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:07,122
I'm sure Stephanie Red Hair
would appreciate the effort.
100
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,082
Stephanie Red Hair
appreciates effort,
101
00:04:09,124 --> 00:04:10,500
plenty, Ryan, trust me.
102
00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:12,878
If you want,
103
00:04:12,919 --> 00:04:16,172
I could call her
Stephanie Old Faithful.
104
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,841
Why Old Faithful?
105
00:04:18,884 --> 00:04:20,301
What is Old Faithful, Ryan?
106
00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,804
A geyser.
107
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,764
Oh goddammit, dammit!
108
00:04:24,806 --> 00:04:25,974
Bring a snorkel!
109
00:04:26,016 --> 00:04:29,352
-[playful guitar twang playing]
-[birds chirping]
110
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:31,187
[upbeat folk music playing]
111
00:04:31,229 --> 00:04:33,273
♪ Somewhere down South, maybe ♪
112
00:04:33,314 --> 00:04:35,108
♪ Charlottesville ♪
113
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:38,361
♪ That's where I wanna go ♪
114
00:04:40,071 --> 00:04:43,616
♪ Where the water
tastes like wine ♪
115
00:04:43,658 --> 00:04:44,951
[music fades]
116
00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,537
[birds chirping]
117
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:48,621
[woman] Nope, nope.
118
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:52,167
[Mark] Where are the guys?
119
00:04:52,207 --> 00:04:53,459
I asked Ben to round
everybody up
120
00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:54,544
to get ready to see people.
121
00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:57,338
A little early, no?
122
00:04:57,380 --> 00:04:58,298
Maybe.
123
00:04:59,382 --> 00:05:01,009
I wanna spend the rest
of the time alone.
124
00:05:01,051 --> 00:05:02,552
Oh, shit. Say no more.
125
00:05:02,593 --> 00:05:03,970
-I'll get out of here.
-No, no, not...
126
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:15,023
[Ryan sighs]
127
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,320
You know what I
thought on move-in day?
128
00:05:20,361 --> 00:05:21,779
Oh shit, my
roommate's awesome.
129
00:05:21,821 --> 00:05:23,156
He'll probably wingman
the shit outta me.
130
00:05:23,198 --> 00:05:24,991
Oh shit, my
roommate's a blowhard,
131
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,869
troglodyte-wannabe jockstrap
high-school baseball star
132
00:05:27,911 --> 00:05:29,245
who thinks college
is for keggers
133
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:30,872
and to have as much
sex as possible.
134
00:05:30,914 --> 00:05:31,873
[laughs]
135
00:05:31,915 --> 00:05:32,957
Come on. Was I so bad?
136
00:05:32,999 --> 00:05:34,250
[chuckles]
137
00:05:38,796 --> 00:05:39,881
I wanted to thank you.
138
00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,510
You're welcome.
139
00:05:44,552 --> 00:05:45,470
For what?
140
00:05:46,471 --> 00:05:48,139
For better or for worse,
141
00:05:48,181 --> 00:05:49,599
you did become my best friend.
142
00:05:51,935 --> 00:05:53,269
I didn't have a brother, so.
143
00:05:55,855 --> 00:05:57,773
You took that what was it?
144
00:05:57,815 --> 00:06:00,026
Skinny, book-reading mama's boy.
145
00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:02,737
You helped me come into my own,
146
00:06:03,947 --> 00:06:04,864
and in the end,
147
00:06:04,906 --> 00:06:06,908
you did wingman
the hell outta me.
148
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:10,996
You're still a
book-reading mama's boy.
149
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:11,955
I am, yes.
150
00:06:13,206 --> 00:06:14,499
But if it weren't for you,
151
00:06:14,540 --> 00:06:15,583
I wouldn't be here today.
152
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,213
Trust me, dude, the reason
she's marrying you are yours,
153
00:06:20,255 --> 00:06:21,089
not mine.
154
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,301
[Rose] Having some trouble?
155
00:06:25,343 --> 00:06:27,095
[nearby chatter]
156
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,804
[happy music playing]
157
00:06:28,846 --> 00:06:30,765
Stupid zipper's caught.
158
00:06:30,806 --> 00:06:31,849
[Rose] I hate that.
159
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,645
What are you tabling for?
160
00:06:35,686 --> 00:06:37,647
Pancakes for Parkinson's.
161
00:06:37,688 --> 00:06:38,689
You wanna volunteer?
162
00:06:40,025 --> 00:06:41,484
Not entirely sure
you want me to.
163
00:06:41,526 --> 00:06:42,777
The one time I tried
to cook pancakes,
164
00:06:42,818 --> 00:06:43,987
it ended in disaster.
165
00:06:44,029 --> 00:06:44,946
Oh my!
166
00:06:44,988 --> 00:06:46,864
A disaster, huh?
167
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:48,908
I either burned them
or I flipped too early,
168
00:06:48,950 --> 00:06:50,368
and they fell apart.
169
00:06:50,409 --> 00:06:52,412
You gotta wait till you count
five bubbles in the batter.
170
00:06:52,453 --> 00:06:53,955
Five bubbles?
171
00:06:53,997 --> 00:06:55,123
Yeah, then you know
it's cooked enough
172
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:56,249
to handle the flip.
173
00:06:58,793 --> 00:06:59,794
All right, I'm in then.
174
00:06:59,835 --> 00:07:00,878
[Rose laughs]
175
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:02,797
Oh, I'm Rose.
176
00:07:02,838 --> 00:07:04,674
I am Ryan.
177
00:07:04,715 --> 00:07:06,009
Thanks for volunteering.
178
00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,218
Yeah.
179
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,178
Are you on the committee?
180
00:07:08,219 --> 00:07:09,345
I am.
181
00:07:09,387 --> 00:07:11,597
My dad has Parkinson's
actually, so.
182
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:12,557
Oh, I'm so sorry.
183
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:13,808
No worries.
184
00:07:13,849 --> 00:07:15,560
We're just glad
you're helping us out.
185
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,312
Well, some people are doctors.
186
00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:18,813
Some people ruin pancakes
at charity events.
187
00:07:18,854 --> 00:07:19,939
[Rose laughs]
188
00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:21,274
We all do our part.
189
00:07:23,276 --> 00:07:25,695
[birds chirping]
190
00:07:25,736 --> 00:07:27,280
So where do you live?
191
00:07:27,322 --> 00:07:29,449
I live on 14th Street with
my friends Mark and Ben.
192
00:07:29,490 --> 00:07:30,658
Oh, nice.
193
00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:31,951
I'm in the Pi Phi house.
194
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:33,661
Of course you are.
195
00:07:33,703 --> 00:07:35,580
What is that supposed to mean?
196
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:36,872
You just seem like a Pi Phi.
197
00:07:36,914 --> 00:07:39,125
Oh, I see, and
how do Pi Phis seem?
198
00:07:39,167 --> 00:07:40,085
It's not a bad thing.
199
00:07:40,126 --> 00:07:42,045
[Rose laughs]
200
00:07:42,087 --> 00:07:43,004
[musical ringtone rings]
201
00:07:43,046 --> 00:07:44,630
Oh, hold on. Sorry, my phone.
202
00:07:44,672 --> 00:07:46,632
♪ And I do it with
the heels on my feet ♪
203
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:47,717
Hey.
204
00:07:48,968 --> 00:07:51,262
Oh yeah, I just got finished
signing up volunteers.
205
00:07:52,263 --> 00:07:54,557
Okay, another night then.
206
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:58,186
All right, no worries.
207
00:07:58,936 --> 00:08:00,105
Okay.
208
00:08:00,146 --> 00:08:01,147
Bye.
209
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:05,568
Boyfriend?
210
00:08:05,610 --> 00:08:08,404
Oh, we're sort of
on-again, off-again.
211
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:10,031
And right now you're...
212
00:08:10,073 --> 00:08:12,158
Mostly off, I guess.
213
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,286
[birds chirping]
214
00:08:16,912 --> 00:08:18,248
Hey, I got some
friends meeting up
215
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:19,332
at the Virginian tonight.
216
00:08:19,374 --> 00:08:20,375
You should come.
217
00:08:20,416 --> 00:08:21,751
Sure, that sounds like fun.
218
00:08:21,792 --> 00:08:22,918
I love the Virginian.
219
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,587
Yeah, I love a
good glory hole.
220
00:08:28,758 --> 00:08:30,510
-What?
-A glory hole.
221
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:32,470
What do you mean?
222
00:08:32,511 --> 00:08:34,804
You know, like
a small, rundown,
223
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,224
out-of-the-way, charming place.
224
00:08:36,265 --> 00:08:37,308
You mean a hole in the wall?
225
00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:38,101
Hole in the wall.
226
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:42,730
[laughs]
227
00:08:42,772 --> 00:08:43,938
What's a glory hole?
228
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,488
[Ryan sighs]
229
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:51,906
You know, it's
your last chance.
230
00:08:53,991 --> 00:08:54,992
For what?
231
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:57,495
Tell me I'm making
a huge mistake.
232
00:08:58,871 --> 00:09:00,123
Getting married?
233
00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:02,625
Well, marrying her.
234
00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:03,876
Why would that be a mistake?
235
00:09:03,918 --> 00:09:05,211
I don't know.
236
00:09:05,253 --> 00:09:06,254
You told Ben he was crazy
when he proposed to Livia.
237
00:09:06,296 --> 00:09:07,588
He was crazy.
238
00:09:07,630 --> 00:09:10,258
He proposed in college
like a horny Mormon.
239
00:09:10,300 --> 00:09:11,301
They're still
together, though.
240
00:09:11,342 --> 00:09:12,468
Yes, I was wrong.
241
00:09:12,510 --> 00:09:13,261
True love is real.
242
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:14,595
Some people do find happiness.
243
00:09:14,637 --> 00:09:16,139
-[laughs]
-Blah, blah, blah.
244
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:20,851
Have you seen her today?
245
00:09:21,977 --> 00:09:23,229
I have.
246
00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:25,106
How does she look?
247
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:26,441
Hideous.
248
00:09:26,482 --> 00:09:27,442
She looks great, man.
249
00:09:27,483 --> 00:09:28,193
How the hell do you
think she looks?
250
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,277
She's in a pretty white dress.
251
00:09:30,195 --> 00:09:31,321
She can't stop smiling.
252
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:35,408
[Rose breathing hard]
253
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,285
[car door chime]
254
00:09:37,327 --> 00:09:38,286
[Rose] Shit, shit, shit, shit.
255
00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:39,912
[tapping feet]
256
00:09:39,954 --> 00:09:42,415
[Rose exhaleing]
257
00:09:42,457 --> 00:09:43,999
Okay, Rose.
258
00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:44,917
You can do this.
259
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,253
You just...
260
00:09:48,213 --> 00:09:49,589
you just walk up and...
261
00:09:52,217 --> 00:09:54,927
you just, you just
walk up and...
262
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,930
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
263
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,014
[Rose yells]
264
00:09:59,056 --> 00:10:01,726
Fuck! [Rose yells]
265
00:10:01,767 --> 00:10:03,353
Hmm.
266
00:10:03,394 --> 00:10:05,020
You know, that's
why God made clip-ons.
267
00:10:05,855 --> 00:10:07,148
I'm not wearing a
clip-on to my wedding.
268
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:08,399
Oh yeah, it's my wedding.
269
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:09,359
Everything has to be authentic.
270
00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:10,485
[Ryan] I'll go
download instructions.
271
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:13,779
[receding footsteps]
272
00:10:17,658 --> 00:10:19,202
[Mark inhales deeply]
273
00:10:20,870 --> 00:10:23,206
[muffled instrument practice]
274
00:10:23,248 --> 00:10:24,540
[Mark and Tess laugh]
275
00:10:24,582 --> 00:10:25,750
Hey, you're here.
276
00:10:25,791 --> 00:10:27,126
-I'll go.
-No, no need, man.
277
00:10:27,168 --> 00:10:28,711
We're gonna have a few drinks
before we head out tonight.
278
00:10:29,670 --> 00:10:31,839
-It's Monday.
-Neat thing about Ryan,
279
00:10:31,881 --> 00:10:33,341
you'll be surprised to learn:
280
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:35,218
he looks like a man,
281
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,303
but he's actually a calendar.
282
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,013
Ryan, would you like
to have a drink with us
283
00:10:39,054 --> 00:10:41,056
on this most auspicious,
apparently Monday night?
284
00:10:41,098 --> 00:10:43,058
-I'm good.
-I like this painting.
285
00:10:43,851 --> 00:10:45,395
Oh yeah, I love this guy.
286
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:46,562
He's a little kitschy maybe,
287
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:48,022
but I think the color is
a really effective way
288
00:10:48,063 --> 00:10:50,900
to capture the,
like, explosive joy
289
00:10:50,941 --> 00:10:52,610
in quiet moments like this.
290
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:53,611
It's so pretty.
291
00:10:53,653 --> 00:10:54,654
Yeah.
292
00:10:54,695 --> 00:10:56,364
Hey, where's the
bathroom in this dorm?
293
00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,031
Do you need to shit?
294
00:10:57,072 --> 00:10:58,658
Oh my God, no!
295
00:10:58,699 --> 00:10:59,700
I have to pee.
296
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,035
Girls are on the even floors.
297
00:11:01,076 --> 00:11:02,203
Thank you.
298
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:03,663
-I'll be right back.
-The clock's ticking.
299
00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,122
More than three minutes,
we'll start assuming.
300
00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:05,873
[Tess laughs]
301
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:07,250
[Tess] Fuck you, Mark.
302
00:11:07,292 --> 00:11:09,001
Stick around
man. Have a drink.
303
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:10,920
When you asked me to hang
my poster over your bed,
304
00:11:10,961 --> 00:11:12,046
I didn't think it'd be for that.
305
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:17,176
You know, you can
choose not to hate me.
306
00:11:17,218 --> 00:11:18,344
It's only October.
307
00:11:18,386 --> 00:11:19,887
We got a few months of
living together left.
308
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:22,181
Well, yes,
I'm aware, being a calendar.
309
00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,266
Dude, that was a joke.
310
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,225
Come on, did that upset you?
311
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:26,018
It upsets me when
you drink in here,
312
00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,478
and you know we're
not supposed to.
313
00:11:27,520 --> 00:11:29,480
And then it looks like two
tornadoes fucked their way
314
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,565
through your half of
the room last night.
315
00:11:30,606 --> 00:11:32,275
Hey, those
tornadoes have names.
316
00:11:32,317 --> 00:11:33,943
Yeah. What was hers?
317
00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:37,988
-Katrina.
-Katrina was a hurricane.
318
00:11:38,030 --> 00:11:39,990
Come on, man,
her name was Tess.
319
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:41,659
Look, I'm not exactly
reinventing the wheel
320
00:11:41,701 --> 00:11:43,244
by having a little bit
of casual sex in college.
321
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:44,161
You should try it sometime.
322
00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:45,996
You might find you
actually enjoy it.
323
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,292
Some of us are actually
looking for that, Mark.
324
00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:55,965
Well, I mean, yeah,
in, like, 30, 40 years.
325
00:11:56,006 --> 00:11:57,132
I mean, we're young.
326
00:11:57,174 --> 00:11:59,009
We gotta sow some wild
oats before doing this.
327
00:12:01,304 --> 00:12:02,763
I don't know.
328
00:12:02,805 --> 00:12:05,641
I mean, her analysis was
un peu unsophisticate,
329
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,393
but she's not wrong.
330
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:08,394
It is pre...
331
00:12:08,436 --> 00:12:12,398
[indistinct chatter in
background]
332
00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:13,483
It is pretty.
333
00:12:13,524 --> 00:12:15,025
[slurps]
334
00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,027
[Ryan] Shit, I left
my phone in my car.
335
00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,779
You're gonna make me
go get it, aren't you?
336
00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:19,780
[Ryan] Probably.
337
00:12:19,822 --> 00:12:21,532
My God, you're such a diva.
338
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:22,450
[ryan] Well, I'll get it.
339
00:12:23,701 --> 00:12:24,869
You need to get the cufflinks.
340
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,120
Right.
341
00:12:26,161 --> 00:12:27,246
My sister won't let me
anywhere near that room.
342
00:12:27,288 --> 00:12:28,831
I'm surprised you let me
anywhere near your sister.
343
00:12:28,873 --> 00:12:30,291
What?
344
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,626
Nothing.
345
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:32,918
Good plan. You get your phone.
346
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:34,462
I get the cufflinks.
Rendezvous here.
347
00:12:34,504 --> 00:12:35,755
Have six or seven more drinks.
348
00:12:35,796 --> 00:12:36,589
Go to the altar.
349
00:12:36,631 --> 00:12:37,673
Meet the love of your life
350
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:40,551
to get married in one
hour and 53 minutes.
351
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:42,177
Go to the reception.
Have a few more drinks.
352
00:12:42,219 --> 00:12:43,346
Dance with the bridesmaids.
353
00:12:43,388 --> 00:12:44,639
See how many stick their
tongue down my throat
354
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,098
and possibly in other orifices.
355
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,266
We will see, time will tell.
356
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:48,726
Hands in. Ready?
357
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:49,852
-Oh!
-Break.
358
00:12:49,894 --> 00:12:50,478
[playful suspense music playing]
359
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:51,729
Fuck it, let's do it.
360
00:12:56,317 --> 00:12:57,234
[car doors lock]
361
00:12:57,276 --> 00:13:03,408
[♪♪♪]
362
00:13:12,249 --> 00:13:12,958
[dramatic string stabs]
363
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:13,959
[birds chirping]
364
00:13:14,001 --> 00:13:16,128
[footsteps pass by]
365
00:13:16,170 --> 00:13:20,090
[playful suspense music resumes]
366
00:13:22,259 --> 00:13:25,346
[Livia] Like, I wanna
FaceTime her just for a second.
367
00:13:25,388 --> 00:13:26,431
[Ben] Well, I don't know
368
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,057
how you're gonna have
any service out here.
369
00:13:28,098 --> 00:13:30,100
My fantasy football
app wouldn't load.
370
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:31,686
[knocking door]
371
00:13:35,105 --> 00:13:36,231
-Hey.
-Hey.
372
00:13:36,273 --> 00:13:37,191
How are we doing?
373
00:13:37,232 --> 00:13:38,568
Good. Do you wanna
come in and say hi?
374
00:13:39,860 --> 00:13:41,236
No.
375
00:13:41,278 --> 00:13:42,947
Your brother left his
cufflinks in the overnight bag.
376
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:43,948
-Ah, right.
-Can you grab them?
377
00:13:43,989 --> 00:13:45,366
-Sure, give me one second.
-Thanks.
378
00:13:46,325 --> 00:13:47,493
[Livia] Do you
know if Rose is here?
379
00:13:47,535 --> 00:13:49,078
[Ben] Mark says she wasn't
invited.
380
00:13:49,119 --> 00:13:50,621
I haven't really
wanted to ask about it.
381
00:13:50,663 --> 00:13:52,039
[Livia] Yeah, me neither.
382
00:13:52,081 --> 00:13:53,540
[Ben] Have you
talked to her at all?
383
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:56,669
No, we had several conversations
after her dad died,
384
00:13:56,711 --> 00:13:58,921
but you know, we just kind
of lost touch somehow.
385
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,507
-[Ben] Right.
-[rustling]
386
00:14:01,549 --> 00:14:04,176
[crickets chirping]
387
00:14:04,218 --> 00:14:05,928
[playful suspense music playing]
388
00:14:05,970 --> 00:14:12,059
[♪♪♪]
389
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:15,855
Rose?
390
00:14:18,190 --> 00:14:19,149
Rose!
391
00:14:19,191 --> 00:14:20,693
Oh shit, shit, shit, shit!
392
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:23,320
Rose!
393
00:14:24,154 --> 00:14:25,072
Rose.
Mark? Hi!
394
00:14:25,114 --> 00:14:27,241
Hi! Holy shit!
395
00:14:27,282 --> 00:14:29,159
[Mark laughs]
396
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,536
I had no idea you'd be here.
397
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:33,122
-I know!
-Look at you, you look great!
398
00:14:33,163 --> 00:14:34,957
-So do you!
-Oh my God! How are you?
399
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:37,418
Good, I'm good. Really good.
400
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,711
Where's Ryan?
401
00:14:38,753 --> 00:14:40,671
I wanted to say a quick
hi before the ceremony.
402
00:14:40,713 --> 00:14:41,839
He's just getting
his phone from his car.
403
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,007
He'll be right back.
I'll show you the cottages.
404
00:14:43,048 --> 00:14:45,635
-Great.
-[whimsical musical flourish]
405
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,094
[Mark] I can't
believe you're here.
406
00:14:47,136 --> 00:14:48,220
What's the big deal?
407
00:14:48,262 --> 00:14:49,346
Well, come on, I don't know.
408
00:14:49,388 --> 00:14:50,723
I thought it'd be just
a little, you know...
409
00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:53,476
I mean, he and I
talked about it,
410
00:14:53,518 --> 00:14:54,852
but I thought that
he'd decided to...
411
00:14:55,770 --> 00:14:56,979
Well, I didn't
know he changed...
412
00:14:57,021 --> 00:14:58,313
I thought that he...
I didn't know you...
413
00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:00,274
I didn't know. I
thought you weren't...
414
00:15:00,315 --> 00:15:01,901
-Invited?
-That's the word.
415
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:04,319
I wasn't.
416
00:15:04,361 --> 00:15:05,571
What?
417
00:15:05,613 --> 00:15:06,572
Technically.
418
00:15:07,615 --> 00:15:08,741
Technically?
419
00:15:10,910 --> 00:15:12,620
Wait, wait. Okay, so what?
Did he call you last night?
420
00:15:12,662 --> 00:15:13,746
Like, "Hey, sorry,
super last minute.
421
00:15:13,788 --> 00:15:14,872
Can you make it to the wedding?"
422
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:15,915
No.
423
00:15:15,956 --> 00:15:17,500
What? Did he, like,
shoot you a text?
424
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:18,793
Nope.
425
00:15:18,834 --> 00:15:20,335
Snapchat DM?
426
00:15:20,377 --> 00:15:22,755
[laughs] No Snapchat DM.
427
00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:24,674
Carrier pigeon?
428
00:15:24,715 --> 00:15:26,926
No, he didn't use
a carrier pigeon.
429
00:15:26,967 --> 00:15:27,968
Cool, cool. Hey.
430
00:15:28,010 --> 00:15:29,261
Quick clarification,
431
00:15:29,303 --> 00:15:30,680
and I don't wanna put you
on the spot or anything,
432
00:15:30,721 --> 00:15:31,889
but it seems like maybe
433
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,433
he has no idea you're
gonna be here today.
434
00:15:35,059 --> 00:15:36,644
That's probably correct.
435
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:38,938
-Ballsy.
-What?
436
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,355
[Rose laughs]
437
00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:43,651
Look, this is a
really nice surprise.
438
00:15:43,693 --> 00:15:45,360
I mean, who doesn't love it
when emotional complications
439
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:46,612
show up unannounced
to a wedding?
440
00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:49,031
But I really think that
if he's not expecting you,
441
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:50,783
it's probably best if
he doesn't see you.
442
00:15:50,825 --> 00:15:52,743
-Why not?
-Sure, sure. Fair question.
443
00:15:52,785 --> 00:15:55,913
I just think that it might, you
know, bring up some memories
444
00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:58,082
that he doesn't wanna
relive today, or ever.
445
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,125
And I don't wanna
be rude or anything,
446
00:16:00,167 --> 00:16:03,588
but if you could just kindly
get the fuck outta here.
447
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:04,589
I just need to talk to him.
448
00:16:04,630 --> 00:16:06,215
Right, and in a fair universe,
449
00:16:06,256 --> 00:16:07,508
we would both get
what we want today.
450
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:08,593
You would get to talk to Ryan,
451
00:16:08,634 --> 00:16:10,344
and I would get to
lick chocolate mousse
452
00:16:10,385 --> 00:16:11,470
off of Gal Gadot's abdomen.
453
00:16:11,512 --> 00:16:13,556
Unfortunately, the
universe is very cruel,
454
00:16:13,598 --> 00:16:15,307
and I don't think Gal
was invited either, so.
455
00:16:15,349 --> 00:16:16,726
Mark, it'll be okay.
456
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,061
Yeah, that's very
optimistic, and I admire it.
457
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:20,479
Positive outlook,
beautiful thing.
458
00:16:20,521 --> 00:16:22,481
I too have read "The
Secret," but I just think
459
00:16:22,523 --> 00:16:24,108
if he's not expecting
this, it's probably...
460
00:16:24,149 --> 00:16:25,484
Rose. Rose.
461
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,319
[playful suspense music playing]
462
00:16:27,361 --> 00:16:28,403
Rose!
463
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:29,864
Stop chasing me!
464
00:16:29,905 --> 00:16:31,866
Stop running.
465
00:16:31,907 --> 00:16:34,118
[Rose yelps]
466
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:35,327
[Rose] Oh my God!
467
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,204
Put me down, Mark!
468
00:16:37,246 --> 00:16:39,206
No, no, no.
469
00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:40,915
Put me down!
470
00:16:40,958 --> 00:16:42,585
Mark!
471
00:16:42,627 --> 00:16:44,128
You are the worst!
472
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,212
-Look-
-[Rose huffs]
473
00:16:45,254 --> 00:16:47,047
I know, it sucks that
you weren't invited,
474
00:16:48,132 --> 00:16:49,341
but you can
understand why, right?
475
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:50,760
Of course I understand.
476
00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:52,637
God!
477
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:56,306
[Mark exhales]
478
00:16:57,892 --> 00:16:59,018
What's she like?
479
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:01,604
What's who like?
480
00:17:03,355 --> 00:17:04,439
Julia.
481
00:17:05,273 --> 00:17:06,400
Julia. She's...
482
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,112
Why?
483
00:17:11,238 --> 00:17:12,615
Because my best friend
is marrying the woman,
484
00:17:12,656 --> 00:17:14,116
and I've never spoken to her.
485
00:17:14,157 --> 00:17:15,576
Right, and again,
486
00:17:15,617 --> 00:17:16,911
not trying to be rude
or anything, Rose,
487
00:17:16,952 --> 00:17:18,037
but fucking duh.
488
00:17:18,078 --> 00:17:19,496
What did you expect?
489
00:17:19,538 --> 00:17:20,539
Does he love her?
490
00:17:20,580 --> 00:17:21,832
No, I don't think so.
491
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,000
I think they just got
bored this morning
492
00:17:23,041 --> 00:17:24,167
and decided they'd
throw a wedding.
493
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:25,752
Does he love her like...
494
00:17:30,507 --> 00:17:31,508
No.
495
00:17:33,761 --> 00:17:34,887
No.
496
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:38,599
Holy shit!
497
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:43,228
Holy titty shit!
498
00:17:44,313 --> 00:17:46,523
Aren't you just my
girlfriend's period after prom?
499
00:17:46,565 --> 00:17:48,150
-What?
-Better late than never!
500
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:50,402
-Mark!
-Are you out of your...
501
00:17:50,444 --> 00:17:51,486
fucking mind right now?
502
00:17:51,528 --> 00:17:53,238
-Calm down!
-No, no, no!
503
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:54,949
No, no, no!
I will not calm down.
504
00:17:54,990 --> 00:17:56,784
You cannot come here today
and tell me to calm down!
505
00:17:56,826 --> 00:17:58,118
I just wanna see him.
506
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,328
You're in luck. He's on Insta.
507
00:17:59,369 --> 00:18:01,288
-I need to talk to him.
-You can't. He's gone.
508
00:18:01,330 --> 00:18:03,207
-We just saw him!
-Nope, not him. Doppelganger.
509
00:18:03,248 --> 00:18:04,166
Weird thing that
happens around here.
510
00:18:04,208 --> 00:18:05,500
Look, it's over.
511
00:18:05,542 --> 00:18:06,877
The wedding was early.
512
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,838
They drove the car away with
the cans into the sunset,
513
00:18:08,879 --> 00:18:10,047
and the priest talked
like an auctioneer.
514
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:11,298
It was like,
"Ryan, do you take Julia to be
515
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:12,382
your lawfully wedded
wife, in sickness and in health?
516
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:13,550
I now pronounce you
man and wife. Sold!"
517
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:14,802
[slaps]
518
00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,428
Why would you slap me?
You know that's my kink.
519
00:18:16,470 --> 00:18:18,347
Mark, take a breath.
520
00:18:18,388 --> 00:18:20,641
-It'll be okay.
-No, it really won't be okay.
521
00:18:20,683 --> 00:18:22,517
Look, we have a
lot to talk about,
522
00:18:22,559 --> 00:18:23,728
I promise you, and
I want to do it,
523
00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:24,854
but now is not the time, okay?
524
00:18:24,895 --> 00:18:25,980
So we're just gonna take
you back to your car.
525
00:18:26,021 --> 00:18:29,024
Oh!
He needs to know how I feel!
526
00:18:29,066 --> 00:18:30,442
No, he actually doesn't.
527
00:18:30,484 --> 00:18:31,736
Why are you so strong?
528
00:18:31,777 --> 00:18:33,988
I can't sit back
and do nothing.
529
00:18:34,029 --> 00:18:35,405
Yes, you can.
530
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:36,365
You have to.
531
00:18:36,406 --> 00:18:38,492
Oh, that is so
easy for you to say.
532
00:18:40,077 --> 00:18:41,120
-Is it?
-[Livia] Rose!
533
00:18:41,161 --> 00:18:43,288
-[Ben] Hello!
-[Rose] Hi!
534
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:44,248
[Livia] Oh my God!
535
00:18:44,999 --> 00:18:46,792
Hi!
536
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:47,626
Oh!
537
00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:48,711
Oh!
538
00:18:48,753 --> 00:18:50,796
[laughing, cheering]
539
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,673
We were just talking about
how we hoped you'd be here.
540
00:18:52,715 --> 00:18:54,549
Oh, I wouldn't
miss it for anything.
541
00:18:54,591 --> 00:18:55,968
Including common decency.
542
00:18:56,010 --> 00:18:58,929
[nervous laughter]
543
00:18:58,971 --> 00:19:00,723
-What?
-Rose was just telling me
544
00:19:00,765 --> 00:19:02,516
that she has a white
dress in her car
545
00:19:02,557 --> 00:19:03,851
that she wants to change into.
546
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:04,769
-Really?
-Yeah.
547
00:19:04,810 --> 00:19:06,353
And I told her, "No one wants
548
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,522
to see you in a
white dress, Rose.
549
00:19:08,563 --> 00:19:09,398
That's a terrible idea.
550
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:10,691
And as your friend,
551
00:19:10,733 --> 00:19:12,192
I don't want to
see you do anything
552
00:19:12,234 --> 00:19:13,694
that's gonna make people
think you're a total bitch."
553
00:19:13,736 --> 00:19:15,154
[laughing]
554
00:19:15,195 --> 00:19:17,823
I don't usually side with
Mark on questions of decorum.
555
00:19:17,865 --> 00:19:19,116
Thank you, Ben.
556
00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:20,575
But you probably shouldn't
wear white to a wedding.
557
00:19:21,576 --> 00:19:22,828
Mark's already drunk,
558
00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:25,497
and it's not white.
559
00:19:25,539 --> 00:19:29,168
It's red, which, yes,
can be frowned upon.
560
00:19:29,209 --> 00:19:31,670
But if it's the right
dress in the right shade,
561
00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,422
and it definitely
has to be worn today
562
00:19:33,463 --> 00:19:35,215
because there won't be
another chance to wear it,
563
00:19:35,257 --> 00:19:37,676
then, under certain
circumstances, it's okay,
564
00:19:37,718 --> 00:19:40,095
as long as it doesn't call
too much attention to itself.
565
00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:41,471
It calls too much
attention to itself.
566
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:44,183
It's a Lady Gaga dress at
the Met Gala, but crotchless.
567
00:19:46,143 --> 00:19:48,813
Wow, I guess I would just
have to see this dress.
568
00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,564
Trust me, it looks like shit.
569
00:19:50,605 --> 00:19:54,568
Rose, everyone has dresses
they want to wear, okay?
570
00:19:54,609 --> 00:19:57,404
I have a dress that
I want to wear today,
571
00:19:57,446 --> 00:19:58,572
but we don't always get
572
00:19:58,613 --> 00:20:00,615
to wear the dresses we want.
573
00:20:02,785 --> 00:20:04,661
Did this dress
hurt you in some way?
574
00:20:04,703 --> 00:20:06,163
You know what, I'm just gonna
stick with what I'm wearing.
575
00:20:06,205 --> 00:20:08,290
It was so good to see you both.
576
00:20:08,332 --> 00:20:09,208
See you at the ceremony.
577
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:10,500
I just have to do
one quick thing.
578
00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:11,752
Mark, why don't you
tell Ben and Liv
579
00:20:11,794 --> 00:20:13,003
that story about senior year,
580
00:20:13,045 --> 00:20:15,255
how you had sex on Ben's
bed because you, quote,
581
00:20:15,297 --> 00:20:16,631
"needed a change of scenery"?
582
00:20:18,843 --> 00:20:20,510
-What?
-Dude?
583
00:20:22,596 --> 00:20:24,223
I...
584
00:20:24,264 --> 00:20:25,474
need therapy.
585
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:28,643
Does that mean
that I have had sex
586
00:20:28,685 --> 00:20:30,104
where you have had sex?
587
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,565
Where, yes, but not when.
588
00:20:33,607 --> 00:20:36,610
And the temporal
dimension is important
589
00:20:36,651 --> 00:20:38,028
to consider here, I think, so.
590
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,738
Did you at least
change the sheets?
591
00:20:41,448 --> 00:20:43,117
I gotta go.
592
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,368
Unbelievable!
593
00:20:44,409 --> 00:20:48,330
[playful suspense music playing]
594
00:20:49,164 --> 00:20:50,207
Oh shit!
595
00:20:50,249 --> 00:20:51,541
Oh jeez!
No, no, no, no.
596
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:52,667
No, no, no.
597
00:20:52,709 --> 00:20:54,795
For the last time, leave. Okay?
598
00:20:54,837 --> 00:20:56,171
You are not pulling
a Taylor Swift today.
599
00:20:56,213 --> 00:20:57,422
A Taylor Swift?
600
00:20:57,464 --> 00:20:59,341
The eponymous track
in her album "Speak Now"
601
00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:01,010
in which she crashes a
wedding to steal the groom.
602
00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:06,181
Why is that your
reference for this?
603
00:21:06,223 --> 00:21:07,432
Just get the fuck
outta here, Rose.
604
00:21:07,474 --> 00:21:08,683
I just need a minute.
605
00:21:08,725 --> 00:21:10,644
Oh, good,
because my primary concern was
606
00:21:10,685 --> 00:21:12,062
that you might tell
him too slowly.
607
00:21:12,104 --> 00:21:14,689
Mark, please, please
just help me out.
608
00:21:14,731 --> 00:21:16,150
I just need to talk to him.
609
00:21:16,191 --> 00:21:17,776
I know that this isn't ideal.
610
00:21:17,818 --> 00:21:19,278
Isn't ideal?
611
00:21:19,319 --> 00:21:20,320
No, no, no.
612
00:21:20,362 --> 00:21:22,697
The Missouri Compromise
was not ideal.
613
00:21:22,739 --> 00:21:25,492
Dropping the atomic bomb
on Hiroshima, not ideal.
614
00:21:25,534 --> 00:21:27,161
The girl I dated who
wanted us to role play
615
00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:29,621
as Scout and Atticus Finch,
616
00:21:29,663 --> 00:21:30,622
not ideal.
617
00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:31,623
This is...
618
00:21:31,665 --> 00:21:35,252
Look, look, I
sympathize with you,
619
00:21:35,294 --> 00:21:36,503
I really do, more than you know,
620
00:21:36,545 --> 00:21:37,504
and I want
to talk to you about it,
621
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:38,797
but now is not the time, okay?
622
00:21:38,839 --> 00:21:41,675
You are the last person
that he needs to see right now,
623
00:21:41,716 --> 00:21:42,592
so I am just begging you-
624
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:43,928
-[Ryan] There you are. Did
you...
625
00:21:48,598 --> 00:21:49,641
Did he see you?
626
00:21:51,351 --> 00:21:52,811
-Rose.
-[Mark sighs]
627
00:21:54,479 --> 00:21:55,647
Hey, Ryan.
628
00:21:58,108 --> 00:21:59,484
What are you doing here?
629
00:21:59,526 --> 00:22:01,820
Come on, you didn't think
I'd miss your wedding,
630
00:22:01,862 --> 00:22:02,737
did you?
631
00:22:04,031 --> 00:22:04,949
Um...
632
00:22:05,782 --> 00:22:06,992
I didn't invite you.
633
00:22:08,077 --> 00:22:09,369
So yeah, kinda.
634
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:14,666
This is great.
635
00:22:14,708 --> 00:22:16,210
Have the old gang
together again,
636
00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:17,878
the Three Amigos, huh?
637
00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:19,671
The third triumvirate.
638
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:21,506
Let's just forget that all
the other triumvirates ended
639
00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:23,008
in betrayals and assassinations.
640
00:22:23,050 --> 00:22:24,593
Well,
Rose just wanted to say hi,
641
00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:25,760
which she did. I heard it.
642
00:22:25,802 --> 00:22:27,221
So I'm gonna go ahead
and take her to her car
643
00:22:27,262 --> 00:22:29,932
so she can drive away from this
delightful, awkward tension.
644
00:22:29,974 --> 00:22:30,975
And, Ryan, I'm noticing,
645
00:22:31,016 --> 00:22:32,977
with my inestimable
powers of observation,
646
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:35,020
that your bow tie still looks
like a toddler's shoelace.
647
00:22:35,062 --> 00:22:36,563
So we're gonna get you in there.
We're gonna get that tied.
648
00:22:36,605 --> 00:22:39,524
Let's get to the altar to
marry Julia in 98 minutes.
649
00:22:39,566 --> 00:22:40,901
I like this. This
is a good plan.
650
00:22:40,943 --> 00:22:42,027
I love this plan. Let's do it.
651
00:22:42,069 --> 00:22:43,237
Hands in. Hands in.
652
00:22:43,278 --> 00:22:44,696
Come on.
653
00:22:44,738 --> 00:22:46,073
Ready, break!
654
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:47,116
I need to talk to you.
655
00:22:47,157 --> 00:22:48,909
-Okay.
-That's not the plan.
656
00:22:49,910 --> 00:22:51,536
Guys. Ow!
657
00:22:51,578 --> 00:22:52,579
Guys.
658
00:22:54,039 --> 00:22:55,165
Okay, you know what, Rose?
659
00:22:55,207 --> 00:22:56,375
I think we're probably
just a little bit tired.
660
00:22:56,416 --> 00:22:57,042
I think we'll just hang
out here and relax.
661
00:22:57,084 --> 00:22:58,919
Can I see him alone?
662
00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:00,670
[sighs] Definitely not.
663
00:23:00,712 --> 00:23:01,588
-Mark.
-Ryan.
664
00:23:01,630 --> 00:23:02,464
-Mark.
-Rose.
665
00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:03,340
-Mark.
-Ryan.
666
00:23:03,382 --> 00:23:04,508
-Mark.
-Rose.
667
00:23:04,549 --> 00:23:05,550
Did you get the cufflinks?
668
00:23:07,052 --> 00:23:08,178
-Yes, I did.
-Can I have them?
669
00:23:08,220 --> 00:23:09,388
-No, you may not.
-Because you didn't get them.
670
00:23:09,429 --> 00:23:10,472
-No, I did not.
-Can you please go get them?
671
00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:11,390
-No, I will not.
-[door knocks]
672
00:23:11,431 --> 00:23:12,975
-Ryan.
673
00:23:13,017 --> 00:23:15,185
-Mark.
-Don't come in! We're naked.
674
00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:16,103
[Claire] You're...
675
00:23:16,145 --> 00:23:17,312
Why are you naked?
676
00:23:18,855 --> 00:23:19,898
It's tradition, Claire.
677
00:23:19,940 --> 00:23:20,941
What do you want?
678
00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:22,734
Julia's grandfather
is stuck in her van.
679
00:23:22,776 --> 00:23:23,818
-What?
-What?
680
00:23:23,860 --> 00:23:25,988
He rides one of
those scooter things.
681
00:23:26,030 --> 00:23:27,697
The ramp in the
van isn't working.
682
00:23:27,739 --> 00:23:29,366
They need help to lift him down.
683
00:23:29,408 --> 00:23:30,284
Mark's coming.
684
00:23:30,325 --> 00:23:31,785
No, he's not.
Get Ben to do it.
685
00:23:31,826 --> 00:23:33,495
Ben sent me to get you.
686
00:23:33,537 --> 00:23:35,497
-It's too heavy.
-He'll be right there.
687
00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:37,124
-Will he, though?
-Yes, he will.
688
00:23:37,166 --> 00:23:38,417
You know, I've
been talking to Mark.
689
00:23:38,458 --> 00:23:39,876
He's been doing a lot of
soul searching, and darn it,
690
00:23:39,918 --> 00:23:42,212
I think he really likes
the place he's at.
691
00:23:42,254 --> 00:23:43,713
I think he's my best man
692
00:23:43,755 --> 00:23:45,257
and has to perform his
duties accordingly.
693
00:23:45,299 --> 00:23:47,009
I think a pretty big
part of his best-man duties
694
00:23:47,051 --> 00:23:48,010
involves staying in the room
695
00:23:48,052 --> 00:23:49,553
when the groom's past
Al-Qaedas her way
696
00:23:49,594 --> 00:23:50,554
into the groom's present.
697
00:23:50,595 --> 00:23:51,346
I think we need to
stop talking about him
698
00:23:51,388 --> 00:23:52,097
in the third person.
699
00:23:52,139 --> 00:23:53,515
-Hypocrite.
-Guys!
700
00:23:53,557 --> 00:23:56,018
-He's coming.
-Dude, I'm barely erect.
701
00:23:56,060 --> 00:23:57,477
Okay, well then, hurry up!
702
00:24:02,774 --> 00:24:03,900
I feel like we're
waiting for something.
703
00:24:03,942 --> 00:24:05,444
Mark, you're my best man.
704
00:24:05,485 --> 00:24:06,987
You have to do what I say today.
705
00:24:09,990 --> 00:24:10,949
Fine.
706
00:24:12,076 --> 00:24:14,161
-Rose, come help.
-Oh God.
707
00:24:14,203 --> 00:24:15,454
What? She's really strong.
708
00:24:15,495 --> 00:24:16,455
She can do it.
Look at those arms.
709
00:24:16,496 --> 00:24:17,622
Look at that tone.
710
00:24:17,664 --> 00:24:18,540
I bet you do Barry's
Bootcamp, don't you, Rose?
711
00:24:18,582 --> 00:24:19,624
Mark, go!
712
00:24:19,666 --> 00:24:20,875
All right. Okay.
713
00:24:22,586 --> 00:24:23,795
But I'm coming right back.
714
00:24:23,837 --> 00:24:24,796
I know.
No, no, no.
715
00:24:24,838 --> 00:24:26,548
Like, right back. Okay?
716
00:24:26,590 --> 00:24:27,966
The first time I had
sex without a condom
717
00:24:28,008 --> 00:24:29,468
lasted longer than
this will take.
718
00:24:29,509 --> 00:24:31,303
And trust me, she
was not impressed.
719
00:24:31,345 --> 00:24:32,846
[grunts]
720
00:24:32,887 --> 00:24:34,598
So I think it's probably best
if we just leave the door open.
721
00:24:34,639 --> 00:24:36,141
-Okay.
-Okay, great.
722
00:24:37,184 --> 00:24:39,019
No! No!
723
00:24:39,061 --> 00:24:39,894
This is a holy day.
724
00:24:39,936 --> 00:24:41,188
God is watching.
725
00:24:41,230 --> 00:24:41,896
Ryan!
726
00:24:41,938 --> 00:24:43,148
[pants]
727
00:24:43,190 --> 00:24:45,275
[Mark] Oh, fine, but look,
this will be so fast.
728
00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:54,993
[footsteps approach]
729
00:24:59,414 --> 00:25:00,540
[Rose exhales softly]
730
00:25:03,835 --> 00:25:04,919
Hi.
731
00:25:07,005 --> 00:25:08,048
Hi.
732
00:25:09,799 --> 00:25:11,218
Where are you taking me?
733
00:25:11,260 --> 00:25:14,471
[nostalgic music playing]
734
00:25:14,513 --> 00:25:15,555
Yep.
735
00:25:18,225 --> 00:25:19,309
Wow!
736
00:25:19,351 --> 00:25:20,769
You said you like gardens.
737
00:25:21,895 --> 00:25:23,647
How'd you find this?
738
00:25:23,688 --> 00:25:27,025
I went to find a quiet
place to read outside,
739
00:25:27,067 --> 00:25:28,443
and voila!
740
00:25:28,485 --> 00:25:32,697
[birds chirping]
741
00:25:35,700 --> 00:25:37,702
[Ryan grunts]
742
00:25:37,744 --> 00:25:39,746
[Rose laughs]
743
00:25:43,167 --> 00:25:44,459
I can't believe
it's already October.
744
00:25:45,127 --> 00:25:46,586
Stop it.
745
00:25:46,628 --> 00:25:47,921
I don't wanna think about it.
746
00:25:49,381 --> 00:25:50,674
[Rose sighs]
747
00:25:51,966 --> 00:25:53,343
What is it about millennials?
748
00:25:54,719 --> 00:25:55,637
We're already so nostalgic
749
00:25:55,679 --> 00:25:57,514
for the moments
we're living through.
750
00:25:57,556 --> 00:25:58,598
[Rose chuckles]
751
00:25:58,640 --> 00:26:01,476
[birds chirping]
752
00:26:03,312 --> 00:26:04,521
[sighs]
753
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:05,772
So...
754
00:26:06,815 --> 00:26:08,108
you think you're gonna
see Lauren again?
755
00:26:10,277 --> 00:26:11,236
I don't know.
756
00:26:13,363 --> 00:26:14,614
It just seems a little pointless
757
00:26:14,656 --> 00:26:16,241
with only a few
months of school left.
758
00:26:17,576 --> 00:26:18,993
DC's close.
759
00:26:19,035 --> 00:26:21,663
If you hit it off, you can
always visit her next year.
760
00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:23,790
Then I'm that guy who
keeps coming back to college.
761
00:26:23,832 --> 00:26:25,125
So what? If you're
dating someone,
762
00:26:25,167 --> 00:26:26,376
no one's gonna judge you.
763
00:26:28,337 --> 00:26:29,629
Maybe.
764
00:26:29,671 --> 00:26:30,755
I don't know.
765
00:26:30,797 --> 00:26:32,257
Mmm.
766
00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:32,966
Electric.
767
00:26:33,007 --> 00:26:34,926
[both laugh]
768
00:26:34,968 --> 00:26:36,136
I'm sorry. I know.
769
00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:37,804
Okay, she's great.
770
00:26:37,846 --> 00:26:38,972
I'll pro...
771
00:26:39,013 --> 00:26:40,515
I'll probably see her again.
772
00:26:41,516 --> 00:26:42,892
I'm just a little worried.
773
00:26:44,478 --> 00:26:45,854
No, I don't wanna
sound like a dick.
774
00:26:45,895 --> 00:26:47,272
I know you're not a dick.
775
00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:48,357
Come on.
776
00:26:51,526 --> 00:26:55,322
I think maybe she's
just kinda dumb.
777
00:26:55,364 --> 00:26:57,073
You dick!
778
00:26:57,115 --> 00:26:58,617
Oh my God!
779
00:26:58,658 --> 00:27:01,703
Look, this is just one
little example, all right?
780
00:27:01,745 --> 00:27:04,122
But she was telling me about
one of her guy friends,
781
00:27:04,164 --> 00:27:07,334
and she kept describing their
relationship as plutonic.
782
00:27:08,502 --> 00:27:09,961
[Rose chuckles]
783
00:27:10,003 --> 00:27:12,422
Like, "We went to
dinner last Saturday,
784
00:27:12,464 --> 00:27:14,466
but it was strictly plutonic."
785
00:27:14,508 --> 00:27:17,719
So what?
She mispronounced a word!
786
00:27:17,761 --> 00:27:19,263
Don't be so pretentious.
787
00:27:19,304 --> 00:27:21,181
Don't act like that wouldn't
annoy the hell outta you!
788
00:27:21,223 --> 00:27:22,682
Give me a break.
789
00:27:22,724 --> 00:27:23,892
Okay, I date Cap.
790
00:27:23,933 --> 00:27:26,060
I put up with so much worse.
791
00:27:26,102 --> 00:27:29,356
[warm music playing]
792
00:27:33,318 --> 00:27:34,819
I just don't get that, Rose.
793
00:27:36,863 --> 00:27:37,864
Yeah.
794
00:27:39,241 --> 00:27:39,949
[Rose sighs]
795
00:27:39,991 --> 00:27:41,993
I don't really either, so.
796
00:27:43,870 --> 00:27:45,955
Please tell me it's just,
like, a college fling.
797
00:27:45,997 --> 00:27:47,541
You're not staying with him
after we graduate, are you?
798
00:27:49,543 --> 00:27:50,544
I don't...
799
00:27:50,585 --> 00:27:51,628
I don't know.
800
00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:55,006
Well, he's gonna
be in Atlanta.
801
00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:56,258
We'll be in DC.
802
00:28:00,220 --> 00:28:01,263
What?
803
00:28:02,389 --> 00:28:03,181
Nothing.
804
00:28:03,223 --> 00:28:04,974
[Ryan gasps]
805
00:28:05,016 --> 00:28:06,100
You...
806
00:28:07,394 --> 00:28:09,187
You're not thinking of dating
him long distance, are you?
807
00:28:09,229 --> 00:28:10,272
No, it's...
808
00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:13,733
It's not that. I-
809
00:28:13,775 --> 00:28:14,776
What's wrong?
810
00:28:15,902 --> 00:28:17,904
I just don't really wanna
think about graduation.
811
00:28:19,823 --> 00:28:21,991
-Okay.
-Okay, I just...
812
00:28:22,033 --> 00:28:25,412
I just wanna lay here
in this lovely garden
813
00:28:25,454 --> 00:28:27,205
and pretend like we
get to do this forever.
814
00:28:30,375 --> 00:28:31,626
Done.
815
00:28:31,668 --> 00:28:33,920
[birds chirping]
816
00:28:33,962 --> 00:28:40,051
[♪♪♪]
817
00:28:44,473 --> 00:28:46,516
You look good.
818
00:28:47,601 --> 00:28:48,602
Handsome.
819
00:28:49,436 --> 00:28:51,020
Yeah, you too.
820
00:28:51,062 --> 00:28:51,813
Nice dress.
821
00:28:51,855 --> 00:28:53,357
[Rose chuckles]
822
00:28:56,234 --> 00:28:57,277
It's been a while.
823
00:28:57,319 --> 00:28:58,695
[Rose chuckles]
824
00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:00,280
Homecoming, three years ago.
825
00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:01,406
God! Really?
826
00:29:01,448 --> 00:29:02,449
Has it been that long?
827
00:29:02,491 --> 00:29:04,242
-Mm-hmm.
-Jeez.
828
00:29:04,284 --> 00:29:07,078
It feels like just yesterday
we were graduating.
829
00:29:08,913 --> 00:29:10,039
Yeah.
830
00:29:11,875 --> 00:29:13,668
I think about that time a lot.
831
00:29:16,004 --> 00:29:17,922
I don't so much anymore.
832
00:29:19,633 --> 00:29:20,634
Sometimes.
833
00:29:20,675 --> 00:29:21,635
Yeah.
834
00:29:22,886 --> 00:29:24,888
It was a long time ago, I guess.
835
00:29:26,180 --> 00:29:30,352
And now, here you are getting
all married and stuff.
836
00:29:30,394 --> 00:29:31,895
[Ryan chuckles]
837
00:29:34,564 --> 00:29:36,400
-You know Vietnam?
-I do know Vietnam.
838
00:29:36,441 --> 00:29:37,359
I was there.
839
00:29:38,818 --> 00:29:39,736
Can you get me down?
840
00:29:39,778 --> 00:29:40,820
[Livia] I have
never been there.
841
00:29:40,862 --> 00:29:42,739
-I was there.
-Wow!
842
00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:46,451
There was a
fight, and the VC...
843
00:29:46,493 --> 00:29:47,994
the VC...
844
00:29:48,036 --> 00:29:49,162
So did you...
845
00:29:49,203 --> 00:29:49,996
[soft music playing]
846
00:29:50,038 --> 00:29:51,039
When did you get in?
847
00:29:51,706 --> 00:29:53,333
I drove down this morning.
848
00:29:53,375 --> 00:29:54,584
-Right. From New York.
-Yeah.
849
00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:56,294
Mm-hmm.
850
00:29:56,336 --> 00:29:58,254
Long way, you must
have left early.
851
00:29:58,296 --> 00:29:59,673
Well, yeah. I mean, you know,
852
00:29:59,714 --> 00:30:01,633
there's usually traffic in
the cities on the weekend,
853
00:30:01,675 --> 00:30:04,218
so I know some side streets
to avoid congestion.
854
00:30:04,260 --> 00:30:06,137
It's just a straight
shot down I-95.
855
00:30:06,179 --> 00:30:07,681
You know, if you plan
stops strategically.
856
00:30:07,722 --> 00:30:08,723
-And then-
-Why are you here?
857
00:30:08,765 --> 00:30:09,766
Because I'm in love with you.
858
00:30:14,020 --> 00:30:15,104
-What?
-I love you.
859
00:30:15,146 --> 00:30:16,064
What kind of cake did you get?
860
00:30:16,105 --> 00:30:18,316
-Rose.
-Here's the thing.
861
00:30:18,358 --> 00:30:19,693
-I love you.
-Jesus!
862
00:30:19,734 --> 00:30:21,445
But that is not the only
development in my life.
863
00:30:21,486 --> 00:30:22,529
I do hot yoga now.
864
00:30:22,571 --> 00:30:23,780
-I have a cat.
-Just stop it!
865
00:30:23,822 --> 00:30:25,782
-There's six hours.
-This is an incredible story.
866
00:30:25,824 --> 00:30:26,700
Six hours!
867
00:30:26,741 --> 00:30:28,159
-Hey!
-Thank you for your service.
868
00:30:28,201 --> 00:30:29,578
Let's get him out, yeah?
Hey, you're stuck, right?
869
00:30:29,619 --> 00:30:30,537
You don't wanna be here.
870
00:30:30,579 --> 00:30:31,204
Who wants to stay
in a van all day?
871
00:30:31,245 --> 00:30:32,539
Who the fuck are you?
872
00:30:32,581 --> 00:30:34,624
I'm sorry, I wanted
to tell you before,
873
00:30:34,666 --> 00:30:35,834
but you were with Julia,
874
00:30:35,875 --> 00:30:37,461
so I thought that would
be kind of inappropriate.
875
00:30:37,502 --> 00:30:38,628
You thought that
would be inappropriate?
876
00:30:38,670 --> 00:30:40,004
-Ready?
-[Ben] Oh, we're strapped in.
877
00:30:40,046 --> 00:30:41,130
-[Ben] We're strapped in.
What? We're strapped in?
878
00:30:41,172 --> 00:30:42,424
[Ben] We'll unstrap him.
879
00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:44,175
-Let's unstrap him.
-I don't think so!
880
00:30:44,217 --> 00:30:45,635
No, I know. I'm sorry.
881
00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:47,679
I-I-I
hate that I'm doing this.
882
00:30:47,721 --> 00:30:49,556
I was going to be
mature and let you go.
883
00:30:49,598 --> 00:30:52,392
I couldn't sleep last night,
and I turned on the TV.
884
00:30:52,434 --> 00:30:54,102
"When Harry Met Sally" was on,
885
00:30:54,143 --> 00:30:55,729
and I realized that
I had to tell you.
886
00:30:55,770 --> 00:30:56,646
You had to.
887
00:30:56,688 --> 00:30:58,314
Oh, why? Why did you have to?
888
00:30:58,356 --> 00:30:59,774
Because it's a good movie!
889
00:30:59,816 --> 00:31:01,443
-I served my country!
-Yeah, lift the chair.
890
00:31:01,485 --> 00:31:02,861
I served my country!
891
00:31:02,902 --> 00:31:04,946
You've probably never even
used a gun in your life.
892
00:31:04,988 --> 00:31:05,905
[Ben] No, it's too heavy.
893
00:31:05,947 --> 00:31:07,073
No, it's not too heavy!
894
00:31:07,115 --> 00:31:08,575
Use your back, Ben,
that's what they say.
895
00:31:08,617 --> 00:31:11,953
You put an AK-47
in your hands,
896
00:31:11,995 --> 00:31:13,371
you wouldn't know
what to do with it.
897
00:31:13,413 --> 00:31:15,582
You're the one who
said that life is short,
898
00:31:15,624 --> 00:31:16,750
and love is worth the risk,
899
00:31:16,791 --> 00:31:18,668
and that it's okay to
look like an idiot.
900
00:31:19,419 --> 00:31:23,256
So here I am looking
like an idiot.
901
00:31:23,297 --> 00:31:25,634
I know my timing is terrible,
902
00:31:25,675 --> 00:31:27,135
but it was now or never.
903
00:31:27,176 --> 00:31:29,596
Fucking look at you,
you're about to get married.
904
00:31:29,638 --> 00:31:30,680
I know!
905
00:31:30,722 --> 00:31:32,056
I know I'm getting married!
906
00:31:32,098 --> 00:31:33,182
Lift with your back!
907
00:31:33,224 --> 00:31:34,434
What do you want me
to be, a human ramp?
908
00:31:34,476 --> 00:31:35,977
You're a wussy.
909
00:31:36,019 --> 00:31:38,146
You wussy.
You couldn't handle it.
910
00:31:38,187 --> 00:31:39,898
Right, let's get
him out of the chair.
911
00:31:39,939 --> 00:31:41,149
Let's get him out.
912
00:31:41,190 --> 00:31:42,651
-God dam-Fine,
okay, we're gonna get you out.
913
00:31:42,692 --> 00:31:43,860
Stand on the chair.
914
00:31:43,902 --> 00:31:46,571
Okay, I'm gonna grab
you in a sensitive area.
915
00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:47,739
I'm Mark, and we're gonna
get you out, all right?
916
00:31:47,781 --> 00:31:49,157
Here we go.
917
00:31:49,198 --> 00:31:50,199
Come on, come on.
918
00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:51,075
-Get him out.
-[Ben] Stand on the chair.
919
00:31:51,117 --> 00:31:52,536
Get his weight.
920
00:31:52,577 --> 00:31:54,579
Get his weight.
Watch the handlebar.
921
00:31:54,621 --> 00:31:55,580
Watch the handlebar.
922
00:31:55,622 --> 00:31:56,498
Watch it!
923
00:31:56,540 --> 00:32:00,919
[old man yelling]
924
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,003
Jesus Christ, Rose!
925
00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:03,087
How could you do this to me?
926
00:32:03,129 --> 00:32:04,255
You're the one who said
927
00:32:04,297 --> 00:32:06,132
that we can't choose who
we fall in love with,
928
00:32:06,174 --> 00:32:07,967
that sometimes it just happens.
929
00:32:08,009 --> 00:32:09,093
Yeah, but you...
930
00:32:09,135 --> 00:32:11,054
Jesus Christ, did I
really say all this shit?
931
00:32:11,095 --> 00:32:12,013
Yeah.
932
00:32:13,014 --> 00:32:14,307
It was really cheesy.
933
00:32:15,517 --> 00:32:16,976
Well, I was young and stupid,
934
00:32:17,018 --> 00:32:18,186
and you just rejected me.
935
00:32:18,227 --> 00:32:19,938
So I was trying to
salvage our friendship.
936
00:32:24,526 --> 00:32:25,985
Look how it was salvaged.
937
00:32:27,153 --> 00:32:30,490
We went from best friends
to awkward friends,
938
00:32:30,532 --> 00:32:33,493
to we haven't spoken
to each other in years.
939
00:32:33,535 --> 00:32:36,454
[wistful music playing]
940
00:32:36,496 --> 00:32:38,039
When my dad died,
941
00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:40,792
you sent me a letter.
942
00:32:42,376 --> 00:32:43,545
Ben and Liv called.
943
00:32:44,713 --> 00:32:46,548
Mark flew out for the funeral.
944
00:32:48,049 --> 00:32:49,133
But from you,
945
00:32:50,510 --> 00:32:51,636
I got a note.
946
00:32:53,555 --> 00:32:54,931
Nine sentences.
947
00:32:58,935 --> 00:33:01,062
I wrote 30 drafts of
those nine sentences.
948
00:33:04,524 --> 00:33:05,567
I needed you.
949
00:33:12,532 --> 00:33:13,658
I'm sorry.
950
00:33:15,535 --> 00:33:16,995
I wanted to call.
951
00:33:17,036 --> 00:33:17,912
I really did, but-
952
00:33:17,954 --> 00:33:19,497
It wasn't just then, Ryan.
953
00:33:21,207 --> 00:33:23,334
We used to talk every day.
954
00:33:23,376 --> 00:33:24,794
I was in love with you.
955
00:33:26,630 --> 00:33:27,463
I would've stayed that way.
956
00:33:27,505 --> 00:33:29,465
I needed to not stay that way.
957
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:32,010
So what, you cut
me off entirely,
958
00:33:32,051 --> 00:33:33,344
never talk to me again?
959
00:33:33,386 --> 00:33:35,221
I did what I had
to do to move on.
960
00:33:35,263 --> 00:33:37,431
I mean, you can't get
mad at me for that.
961
00:33:37,473 --> 00:33:39,517
I mean, where was all
this six years ago?
962
00:33:39,559 --> 00:33:40,810
We were graduating.
963
00:33:40,852 --> 00:33:43,312
Everything was
changing so quickly.
964
00:33:43,354 --> 00:33:45,106
I'd never thought
about you like that,
965
00:33:45,148 --> 00:33:47,901
or-or let myself.
966
00:33:47,942 --> 00:33:49,653
And let's be honest,
967
00:33:49,694 --> 00:33:51,738
you were pretty
intense about it.
968
00:33:51,780 --> 00:33:52,947
I was in love.
969
00:33:53,823 --> 00:33:55,867
We were so young.
970
00:33:55,909 --> 00:33:57,160
Oh, I'm very sorry.
971
00:33:57,201 --> 00:33:58,870
I didn't realize it was
like purchasing liquor.
972
00:33:58,912 --> 00:34:02,040
-I should have checked your ID.
-Fine, I, I was so young,
973
00:34:02,999 --> 00:34:04,876
not to mention I had
just broken up with Cap.
974
00:34:04,918 --> 00:34:06,210
Oh, Cap!
975
00:34:06,252 --> 00:34:07,629
I know you never liked him.
976
00:34:07,671 --> 00:34:08,545
His name was Cap.
977
00:34:08,588 --> 00:34:10,047
It was a nickname,
978
00:34:10,089 --> 00:34:11,382
and plus we'd been
dating for over a year.
979
00:34:11,424 --> 00:34:12,926
Dating?
980
00:34:12,967 --> 00:34:14,678
Please, he was hot and dumb,
981
00:34:14,719 --> 00:34:16,888
and you weren't ready to
stop fucking dumb, hot guys.
982
00:34:18,181 --> 00:34:19,724
Ow!
983
00:34:19,766 --> 00:34:21,391
You know that's
not all it was.
984
00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:24,728
[Rose exhales]
985
00:34:25,563 --> 00:34:27,023
When you told me you loved me,
986
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:28,817
it was like...
987
00:34:28,858 --> 00:34:30,400
it was like you were
speaking a foreign language,
988
00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:31,820
and it took me a
while to, you know,
989
00:34:31,860 --> 00:34:33,655
translate it for myself.
990
00:34:33,697 --> 00:34:35,322
Once I finally did,
you were with Julia.
991
00:34:35,364 --> 00:34:37,951
So I thought I'd tell you
when you were single again,
992
00:34:37,992 --> 00:34:40,203
'cause that's how relationships
go, I thought, right?
993
00:34:40,244 --> 00:34:42,038
That's how they go.
You meet someone, it's exciting.
994
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,539
You think, "Oh,
there's a future here,"
995
00:34:43,581 --> 00:34:44,623
and then they ask
you to pee on them
996
00:34:44,666 --> 00:34:45,750
to satisfy their urine fetish,
997
00:34:45,792 --> 00:34:47,043
so you part ways.
998
00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:49,420
But you and Julia just
kept staying together,
999
00:34:49,462 --> 00:34:50,588
and then I realized
1000
00:34:50,630 --> 00:34:52,297
she probably doesn't
even have a urine fetish.
1001
00:34:52,340 --> 00:34:53,341
And then a year passed.
1002
00:34:53,382 --> 00:34:54,884
And then I saw you were engaged.
1003
00:34:54,926 --> 00:34:57,887
Believe me, I did not want
it to be this way, I didn't.
1004
00:34:57,929 --> 00:35:00,682
But if this was my only
chance to tell you,
1005
00:35:00,724 --> 00:35:01,933
I had to take it.
1006
00:35:13,486 --> 00:35:16,906
[footsteps approach]
1007
00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:21,828
Did you date someone
with a urine fetish?
1008
00:35:22,620 --> 00:35:24,748
Do you really wanna have
that conversation right now?
1009
00:35:24,789 --> 00:35:25,623
[Ryan chuckles]
1010
00:35:25,665 --> 00:35:27,291
No.
1011
00:35:27,333 --> 00:35:29,002
Rum and ammunition.
Yeah, let's go. Come on.
1012
00:35:29,043 --> 00:35:30,586
Ben, help me with this.
1013
00:35:30,628 --> 00:35:31,671
-Careful!
-Oh, no!
1014
00:35:31,713 --> 00:35:34,340
Oh, God.
Not that far, not that far!
1015
00:35:34,382 --> 00:35:36,217
-[Mark] Ben, Ben!
-Are you good?
1016
00:35:36,259 --> 00:35:38,762
Help with the scooter, please!
1017
00:35:38,803 --> 00:35:40,263
It's a lot lighter
without a human on it.
1018
00:35:40,304 --> 00:35:41,222
-Get it out!
1019
00:35:41,264 --> 00:35:42,515
-[Ben grunts]
-[metal Snapping]
1020
00:35:43,683 --> 00:35:45,226
Well, we'll just put
it back on afterward.
1021
00:35:45,268 --> 00:35:46,602
[Mark] All right, you
fix the scooter.
1022
00:35:46,644 --> 00:35:47,854
I gotta go. Lovely to meet you.
1023
00:35:47,896 --> 00:35:49,147
Where are you going,
what about the cufflinks?
1024
00:35:49,188 --> 00:35:50,106
No time, Claire!
1025
00:35:53,401 --> 00:35:55,153
I'm sorry.
1026
00:35:55,194 --> 00:35:56,487
I should have told you then,
1027
00:35:57,155 --> 00:35:58,072
but I didn't.
1028
00:35:58,114 --> 00:35:59,365
So I'm telling you now.
1029
00:35:59,407 --> 00:36:00,408
[soft piano music playing]
1030
00:36:00,449 --> 00:36:03,286
I know that this is
not the right time,
1031
00:36:03,327 --> 00:36:04,788
and this is not the right place.
1032
00:36:05,621 --> 00:36:06,497
Mark's probably right.
1033
00:36:06,539 --> 00:36:08,207
I look like a
total bitch, but...
1034
00:36:10,376 --> 00:36:11,920
I am,
1035
00:36:11,961 --> 00:36:13,171
and I was
1036
00:36:14,798 --> 00:36:16,340
so in love with you.
1037
00:36:20,511 --> 00:36:21,512
Oh, God.
1038
00:36:23,306 --> 00:36:24,891
I waited so long to
hear you say that.
1039
00:36:25,599 --> 00:36:26,893
I thought about it every day.
1040
00:36:28,644 --> 00:36:30,313
Every song was you.
1041
00:36:30,354 --> 00:36:31,314
Every book.
1042
00:36:32,606 --> 00:36:35,359
Everybody. I went on dates,
I compared them to you.
1043
00:36:36,736 --> 00:36:39,113
I lived out our
relationship 10,000 times,
1044
00:36:41,574 --> 00:36:44,869
and you come in today
of all the days.
1045
00:36:50,834 --> 00:36:51,918
I mean...
1046
00:36:53,086 --> 00:36:54,628
what do you expect me to do?
1047
00:36:57,256 --> 00:36:58,424
I love her.
1048
00:37:01,594 --> 00:37:03,012
But what about me?
1049
00:37:07,641 --> 00:37:08,392
[door knocks]
1050
00:37:08,434 --> 00:37:09,894
[Mark] Ryan?
1051
00:37:09,936 --> 00:37:12,063
I'd apologize except I know
I'm not interrupting anything
1052
00:37:12,105 --> 00:37:14,398
because you're marrying a
smart, beautiful woman today.
1053
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:15,649
And you wouldn't
want to fuck that up
1054
00:37:15,691 --> 00:37:17,318
with someone you
loved in college,
1055
00:37:18,319 --> 00:37:20,529
unless Rose left and
you're cranking your hog.
1056
00:37:20,571 --> 00:37:22,448
No judgment here, man.
That'll keep you relaxed.
1057
00:37:22,490 --> 00:37:24,158
If you need tissues or anything,
you just let me know.
1058
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:25,994
Best man here to help you.
1059
00:37:27,286 --> 00:37:28,246
So Mark's the same.
1060
00:37:28,287 --> 00:37:29,372
More or less, yeah.
1061
00:37:29,413 --> 00:37:30,581
[knocks]
1062
00:37:30,623 --> 00:37:32,000
Ugh!
1063
00:37:32,041 --> 00:37:33,376
[birds chirping]
1064
00:37:33,417 --> 00:37:34,752
What is it, child?
1065
00:37:34,794 --> 00:37:35,879
Put your fuckin' books away.
1066
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:36,796
Let's go out.
1067
00:37:36,838 --> 00:37:38,131
I can't. I have
a test tomorrow.
1068
00:37:38,172 --> 00:37:40,258
Well, not with that
attitude, you can't.
1069
00:37:40,299 --> 00:37:41,509
Where do you wanna go?
1070
00:37:41,550 --> 00:37:42,551
Let's go to Coupes.
1071
00:37:42,593 --> 00:37:43,887
Coupes is gonna be
full of freshman girls
1072
00:37:43,928 --> 00:37:45,013
who just got their fakes.
1073
00:37:45,972 --> 00:37:47,556
-I know.
-That's special.
1074
00:37:47,598 --> 00:37:49,433
Come on, it's spring
semester of our senior year.
1075
00:37:49,475 --> 00:37:50,351
We're supposed to be having fun.
1076
00:37:50,393 --> 00:37:51,352
We're not supposed
to be doing work.
1077
00:37:51,394 --> 00:37:52,728
-You're not doing work.
-Yeah, I know.
1078
00:37:52,770 --> 00:37:54,605
I'm a prophet, and
I lead by example.
1079
00:37:54,647 --> 00:37:55,648
Ow!
1080
00:37:55,689 --> 00:37:56,816
Screw it. I'm in.
1081
00:37:56,858 --> 00:37:58,692
-[Ryan] What?
-What? I just had an exam today.
1082
00:37:58,734 --> 00:38:00,569
I need to unwind. Okay?
1083
00:38:00,611 --> 00:38:02,196
And Mark's right, we
should be having fun.
1084
00:38:02,238 --> 00:38:04,573
Exactly. Come on.
Bars, bars, bars, bars!
1085
00:38:04,615 --> 00:38:06,325
-Bars, bars, bars, bars!
-Bars, bars, bars, bars!
1086
00:38:06,367 --> 00:38:07,827
-Bars, bars, bars!
-Bars, bars, bars!
1087
00:38:07,869 --> 00:38:09,871
Guys, I really have
to do well on this exam.
1088
00:38:09,913 --> 00:38:11,539
Ryan, I really have
to do a freshman.
1089
00:38:11,580 --> 00:38:14,167
-Ugh!
-Oh, relax. It's a joke.
1090
00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:15,751
I would take a
sophomore in a pinch.
1091
00:38:15,793 --> 00:38:17,128
-Sicko!
-[Ryan] Hey!
1092
00:38:17,170 --> 00:38:18,629
Why are we friends with you?
1093
00:38:18,671 --> 00:38:20,256
[Mark] Ryan, you've been
in that book so much.
1094
00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:21,549
If you get any closer, you're
gonna need to put on a rubber.
1095
00:38:21,590 --> 00:38:22,383
All right? Come
on, let's go out.
1096
00:38:22,425 --> 00:38:24,218
Let's have fun. Let's do stuff.
1097
00:38:24,260 --> 00:38:27,889
Someday you're
gonna be 35 or 40,
1098
00:38:27,931 --> 00:38:28,890
and you're gonna look back,
1099
00:38:28,932 --> 00:38:29,849
and you're gonna
wish you had more fun
1100
00:38:29,891 --> 00:38:30,892
in the last years of college.
1101
00:38:30,934 --> 00:38:32,101
We're all gonna
be in DC together.
1102
00:38:32,143 --> 00:38:33,436
We'll have plenty of fun.
1103
00:38:35,479 --> 00:38:37,440
Actually, I'm not.
1104
00:38:39,984 --> 00:38:41,110
What?
1105
00:38:42,778 --> 00:38:45,239
Accenture wants me
in New York instead.
1106
00:38:46,365 --> 00:38:48,159
New York?
1107
00:38:48,201 --> 00:38:50,411
Yeah, and they were up
in the air for a while.
1108
00:38:50,453 --> 00:38:51,662
They just confirmed it.
1109
00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:57,043
Hey, come on.
1110
00:38:57,085 --> 00:38:58,211
It's not like we gotta say
our goodbyes tonight, right?
1111
00:38:58,252 --> 00:38:59,212
We got a few months.
1112
00:38:59,253 --> 00:39:00,421
Let's go to Coupes
and have some beer
1113
00:39:00,463 --> 00:39:02,090
and listen to a shitty
band for a few hours.
1114
00:39:02,131 --> 00:39:03,674
Just as long as
there's no freshman girl
1115
00:39:03,716 --> 00:39:04,926
you're gonna ruin.
1116
00:39:04,968 --> 00:39:06,385
[Mark] That's very
sex negative, Rose.
1117
00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:07,428
I'm gonna go get changed.
1118
00:39:07,470 --> 00:39:08,304
I'll meet you guys there.
1119
00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:10,264
No sweats for
the sorority girl.
1120
00:39:10,306 --> 00:39:11,224
[Rose mocks Mark]
1121
00:39:12,100 --> 00:39:13,142
You coming?
1122
00:39:18,731 --> 00:39:21,109
Yeah, you bet he is!
1123
00:39:21,150 --> 00:39:22,401
-[bottles clink]
-[patrons chattering]
1124
00:39:22,443 --> 00:39:23,987
Come on, it's pretty fucking
weird that they're engaged.
1125
00:39:24,028 --> 00:39:26,239
It's unusual,
but it's not weird.
1126
00:39:26,280 --> 00:39:27,615
Why are you so upset about it?
1127
00:39:27,656 --> 00:39:28,699
I don't know what's worse.
1128
00:39:28,741 --> 00:39:30,493
Ben proposing to Liv
or Cap going to Cancun
1129
00:39:30,534 --> 00:39:31,911
with his entire fraternity
over spring break
1130
00:39:31,953 --> 00:39:33,037
and not taking you.
1131
00:39:34,872 --> 00:39:35,999
I didn't know it was a secret.
1132
00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,166
Do you have any idea
what happens in Cancun
1133
00:39:37,208 --> 00:39:38,251
over spring break?
1134
00:39:38,292 --> 00:39:39,293
They play Mahjong, I think.
1135
00:39:39,335 --> 00:39:40,461
Oh, is that what
they do? My mistake.
1136
00:39:40,503 --> 00:39:42,171
I thought they
shattered pelvises.
1137
00:39:42,213 --> 00:39:43,631
He's gonna come back
with so much bacteria,
1138
00:39:43,672 --> 00:39:44,882
he'll have to declare
it at customs.
1139
00:39:44,924 --> 00:39:47,010
-Guys!
-We're just kidding.
1140
00:39:47,051 --> 00:39:49,971
I know, it's just he's
missing Pi Phi's formal.
1141
00:39:50,013 --> 00:39:51,180
Why? It's the
weekend before break.
1142
00:39:51,222 --> 00:39:52,848
I don't know, he's
going to Cancun early.
1143
00:39:52,890 --> 00:39:54,017
His little brother
has the week off
1144
00:39:54,058 --> 00:39:55,309
before they're meeting
up there, I guess.
1145
00:39:55,351 --> 00:39:56,810
[laughs] Oh my God.
1146
00:39:56,852 --> 00:39:58,187
More Mahjong time, probably.
1147
00:39:59,272 --> 00:40:00,731
Sorry.
1148
00:40:00,773 --> 00:40:02,316
Anyway, um...
1149
00:40:03,651 --> 00:40:05,987
I need a date if you're
interested.
1150
00:40:06,029 --> 00:40:09,323
[reflective folk music playing]
1151
00:40:10,658 --> 00:40:12,035
That's fine, I didn't
really want to go, so.
1152
00:40:13,202 --> 00:40:14,162
If either of you...
1153
00:40:14,203 --> 00:40:15,288
Actually, no, no, no.
1154
00:40:15,329 --> 00:40:17,331
Not you 'cause I'm 75% sure
1155
00:40:17,373 --> 00:40:18,374
you'd leave with another girl.
1156
00:40:18,416 --> 00:40:20,084
-Just one?
-[Rose chuckles]
1157
00:40:20,126 --> 00:40:21,127
Mm!
1158
00:40:22,211 --> 00:40:23,254
Vicki needs a date.
1159
00:40:23,296 --> 00:40:24,255
Then you can both come.
1160
00:40:24,297 --> 00:40:25,339
Wait, Vicki, Vicki,
1161
00:40:25,381 --> 00:40:27,175
with the Vickis?
1162
00:40:27,216 --> 00:40:28,842
Dibs! We're going. I get Vicki.
1163
00:40:28,884 --> 00:40:30,178
Only if you don't
use that nickname.
1164
00:40:30,219 --> 00:40:31,179
It's an endearing nickname.
1165
00:40:31,220 --> 00:40:32,555
In what world is it endearing
1166
00:40:32,596 --> 00:40:34,432
to call a girl Vicki Titty Face?
1167
00:40:34,473 --> 00:40:35,724
It's not an insult.
1168
00:40:35,766 --> 00:40:37,143
She has an amazing chest.
1169
00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:38,644
She knows it. She shows it.
1170
00:40:38,686 --> 00:40:40,104
I want to put my face into it,
1171
00:40:40,146 --> 00:40:41,897
so Vicki Titty Face.
1172
00:40:41,939 --> 00:40:42,898
Stop it!
1173
00:40:42,940 --> 00:40:44,608
Oh my God.
1174
00:40:44,650 --> 00:40:45,943
Come.
1175
00:40:45,985 --> 00:40:47,195
Hmm?
1176
00:40:47,236 --> 00:40:48,571
Come on.
1177
00:40:48,612 --> 00:40:51,324
Be my date.
My best friend just got engaged.
1178
00:40:51,365 --> 00:40:52,950
Don't make me go solo.
1179
00:40:52,992 --> 00:40:54,202
Well, I mean, I don't know.
1180
00:40:54,243 --> 00:40:56,162
I-I might be doing something
with Jess that night.
1181
00:40:57,455 --> 00:40:59,040
Oh, okay.
1182
00:41:00,541 --> 00:41:01,959
I'm sorry, I'll
see what she's doing,
1183
00:41:02,001 --> 00:41:02,918
and I'll let you know.
1184
00:41:04,087 --> 00:41:06,172
Yeah, I just thought
it could be fun.
1185
00:41:07,048 --> 00:41:07,965
Don't get mad at me.
1186
00:41:08,007 --> 00:41:08,966
Cap's the one leaving.
1187
00:41:09,925 --> 00:41:11,552
I know, I'm not mad.
1188
00:41:11,594 --> 00:41:12,928
-Okay.
-Okay.
1189
00:41:14,847 --> 00:41:16,057
Dude, you're going
to that formal.
1190
00:41:16,099 --> 00:41:17,891
-I will see.
-No, you will not see.
1191
00:41:17,933 --> 00:41:19,268
You and Jess have gone
out, like, four times.
1192
00:41:19,310 --> 00:41:20,519
You haven't even got
your fingers sticky.
1193
00:41:20,561 --> 00:41:21,395
You're gonna go with Rose.
1194
00:41:21,437 --> 00:41:22,313
Ben's gonna go with Liv.
1195
00:41:22,355 --> 00:41:23,397
I'm gonna go with
Vicki Titty Face.
1196
00:41:23,439 --> 00:41:24,523
It's gonna be a great night.
1197
00:41:24,565 --> 00:41:25,733
Looking for another
notch in your belt?
1198
00:41:25,774 --> 00:41:27,235
Oh, I'm sorry that I'm
not like Ben and Liv,
1199
00:41:27,276 --> 00:41:28,736
my first is my forever.
1200
00:41:28,777 --> 00:41:30,196
They're not each
other's first.
1201
00:41:30,238 --> 00:41:31,697
First, fifth.
1202
00:41:31,739 --> 00:41:33,032
Who gives a shit?
1203
00:41:33,074 --> 00:41:35,993
Okay, honest question.
1204
00:41:36,035 --> 00:41:37,495
What's your body count?
1205
00:41:39,288 --> 00:41:41,040
-I don't wanna do this.
-Why not?
1206
00:41:41,082 --> 00:41:42,416
Because I don't
want your judgment.
1207
00:41:42,458 --> 00:41:44,752
-No judgment.
-Bullshit, no judgment.
1208
00:41:44,793 --> 00:41:46,129
You're gonna Sandra Day
O'Connor the shit outta me.
1209
00:41:46,170 --> 00:41:47,171
No, I won't.
1210
00:41:48,714 --> 00:41:50,299
Fine. You go first.
1211
00:41:50,341 --> 00:41:51,175
You know, we don't
really have to talk-
1212
00:41:51,217 --> 00:41:52,635
-Five.
-All right.
1213
00:41:52,676 --> 00:41:53,927
Respectable. Ryan.
1214
00:41:55,513 --> 00:41:56,597
I'd rather not talk about it.
1215
00:41:56,639 --> 00:41:57,390
I'm just kidding.
I know it's two.
1216
00:41:57,431 --> 00:41:58,807
Oh, you, Dude!
1217
00:41:58,849 --> 00:42:01,144
Mark, he can get just
as many girls as you get,
1218
00:42:01,185 --> 00:42:03,271
but he has,
whatchamacallit, standards.
1219
00:42:03,312 --> 00:42:05,022
Oh, I have
excellent standards.
1220
00:42:05,064 --> 00:42:06,732
Oh, what? Like
that they're alive.
1221
00:42:06,774 --> 00:42:08,067
That's an important one, yeah.
1222
00:42:08,109 --> 00:42:08,859
[Rose laughs]
1223
00:42:08,901 --> 00:42:10,027
Okay.
1224
00:42:10,069 --> 00:42:12,113
So how many girls have
met these standards?
1225
00:42:12,155 --> 00:42:13,072
Total?
1226
00:42:15,158 --> 00:42:16,700
-38.
-38?
1227
00:42:16,742 --> 00:42:17,868
Trying to get one
for each president,
1228
00:42:17,910 --> 00:42:19,995
but Miss Jimmy Carter
is proving elusive.
1229
00:42:20,037 --> 00:42:21,080
Holy shit!
1230
00:42:21,122 --> 00:42:22,831
Hey, hold up.
You said no judgment.
1231
00:42:22,873 --> 00:42:24,667
No, no. Look, I am
very kind to them.
1232
00:42:24,708 --> 00:42:26,001
I never pressure anybody.
1233
00:42:26,043 --> 00:42:27,878
I often scramble them
an egg in the morning.
1234
00:42:27,920 --> 00:42:29,255
Whoa, man!
1235
00:42:29,297 --> 00:42:31,757
How'd you ever raise enough
capital to buy 38 eggs?
1236
00:42:31,799 --> 00:42:33,759
That is a good,
healthy number.
1237
00:42:33,801 --> 00:42:35,636
Since I started having sex,
that's not even one a month.
1238
00:42:35,678 --> 00:42:36,887
That's not that bad.
1239
00:42:36,929 --> 00:42:38,347
Have you actually
cared about any of them?
1240
00:42:41,850 --> 00:42:43,477
Yes. Look, that's...
1241
00:42:44,645 --> 00:42:45,813
Y'all are making me out
to be a villain here,
1242
00:42:45,854 --> 00:42:46,772
and I don't appreciate it.
1243
00:42:46,814 --> 00:42:49,024
I am-I am a perfect gentleman.
1244
00:42:49,066 --> 00:42:51,319
I am very respectful of women.
1245
00:42:52,361 --> 00:42:54,113
You've just been calling
a girl Vicki Titty Face
1246
00:42:54,155 --> 00:42:54,947
for the last 10 minutes.
1247
00:42:54,988 --> 00:42:56,699
To you guys as a joke.
1248
00:42:56,740 --> 00:42:57,700
I don't actually mean it.
1249
00:42:57,741 --> 00:42:59,118
I'd never say it to her face.
1250
00:43:00,411 --> 00:43:02,121
-To her titty face.
-[Mark and Ryan laugh]
1251
00:43:02,163 --> 00:43:03,789
I swear to God, if
you keep saying it,
1252
00:43:03,831 --> 00:43:04,748
I'm not setting you up.
1253
00:43:04,790 --> 00:43:05,666
No, I'm sorry. It's a joke.
1254
00:43:05,708 --> 00:43:06,625
It's forgotten. It's gone.
1255
00:43:06,667 --> 00:43:07,751
I will never say it again.
1256
00:43:07,793 --> 00:43:08,794
Please, please,
please let me go.
1257
00:43:08,836 --> 00:43:11,547
I'm a good date.
You know I'm a fun date.
1258
00:43:11,589 --> 00:43:12,923
Fine.
1259
00:43:12,965 --> 00:43:15,050
I'm just enabling your
deepest insecurities.
1260
00:43:15,092 --> 00:43:16,635
And I very much
thank you for it.
1261
00:43:16,677 --> 00:43:18,179
[Rose laughs]
1262
00:43:18,221 --> 00:43:19,847
And, Ryan, if you're free,
1263
00:43:19,888 --> 00:43:21,807
I'd love for you to be my date.
1264
00:43:24,768 --> 00:43:26,687
-Why?
-Because she asked you, dude.
1265
00:43:26,729 --> 00:43:29,273
I'll just be, like,
her good friend date.
1266
00:43:29,315 --> 00:43:30,441
It'll be totally plutonic.
1267
00:43:30,483 --> 00:43:32,568
[crickets chirping]
1268
00:43:32,610 --> 00:43:34,862
I know, I know it's platonic.
1269
00:43:34,903 --> 00:43:35,904
Well, yeah, you're right.
1270
00:43:35,946 --> 00:43:38,073
It is platonic,
and it's gonna be platonic
1271
00:43:38,115 --> 00:43:40,409
until it's no longer platonic.
1272
00:43:40,451 --> 00:43:41,327
What?
1273
00:43:41,369 --> 00:43:42,995
Go to the dance with her, man.
1274
00:43:43,036 --> 00:43:44,830
Mix it up. See what happens.
1275
00:43:44,872 --> 00:43:46,290
What about Cap?
1276
00:43:46,332 --> 00:43:48,167
Do you think Cap is a
permanent fixture in her life?
1277
00:43:48,209 --> 00:43:49,793
No, but they're still dating.
1278
00:43:49,835 --> 00:43:50,961
What can I do?
1279
00:43:51,003 --> 00:43:52,338
You could go to the
formal that he's skipping,
1280
00:43:52,380 --> 00:43:54,715
eat some good food,
drink some good wine,
1281
00:43:54,757 --> 00:43:56,467
spin her around on
the dance floor,
1282
00:43:56,509 --> 00:43:58,010
and see how long she
thinks about Cap.
1283
00:44:00,137 --> 00:44:01,555
Dude, what is the issue here?
1284
00:44:02,223 --> 00:44:03,891
Everything.
1285
00:44:03,932 --> 00:44:05,434
She's still dating Cap.
1286
00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:07,436
So I feel scummy making a move,
1287
00:44:07,478 --> 00:44:09,980
and in the end, it's just
like another college party.
1288
00:44:10,022 --> 00:44:11,148
She might drink,
1289
00:44:11,190 --> 00:44:12,441
and I don't drink much,
so that feels shitty.
1290
00:44:12,483 --> 00:44:14,067
Well, yeah, if
she gets sloshed,
1291
00:44:14,109 --> 00:44:15,528
call a fuckin' audible,
Peyton Manning,
1292
00:44:15,569 --> 00:44:16,862
but come on, it's a party.
1293
00:44:16,904 --> 00:44:19,114
People are gonna drink a
little bit to loosen up.
1294
00:44:19,156 --> 00:44:19,990
A little bit of alcohol,
1295
00:44:20,032 --> 00:44:22,034
that's just nature's
truth serum.
1296
00:44:22,075 --> 00:44:23,702
Nine outta 10 people
owe their very existence
1297
00:44:23,744 --> 00:44:24,745
to a little bit of alcohol.
1298
00:44:24,787 --> 00:44:26,038
Even the Catholics
realize you can't get
1299
00:44:26,079 --> 00:44:27,456
through fuckin' church without
a little bit of alcohol.
1300
00:44:27,498 --> 00:44:28,791
I don't know.
1301
00:44:28,832 --> 00:44:31,084
Dude, you gotta fuckin'
use your imagination
1302
00:44:31,126 --> 00:44:32,420
here a little bit.
1303
00:44:32,461 --> 00:44:33,712
Look, close your eyes.
I want you to close your eyes.
1304
00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:35,548
I want you to picture this.
1305
00:44:35,589 --> 00:44:37,300
Yeah, close your fuckin' eyes.
1306
00:44:37,341 --> 00:44:39,302
Good. Okay.
It's the end of the night, okay?
1307
00:44:39,343 --> 00:44:40,594
You've both had a
few glasses of wine,
1308
00:44:40,636 --> 00:44:42,137
so you're feeling very
comfortable with each other.
1309
00:44:42,888 --> 00:44:44,014
The sun has set,
1310
00:44:44,056 --> 00:44:45,098
the moonlight's pouring
through the windows
1311
00:44:45,140 --> 00:44:46,684
and bouncing off her dark hair.
1312
00:44:47,518 --> 00:44:49,102
The band starts
playing some slow song,
1313
00:44:49,144 --> 00:44:51,146
like "You Look Wonderful
Tonight" or some shit.
1314
00:44:51,188 --> 00:44:52,565
Your hands are around her waist.
1315
00:44:52,606 --> 00:44:54,191
Her hands are around your neck.
1316
00:44:54,233 --> 00:44:55,693
Your faces are
almost touching...
1317
00:44:55,734 --> 00:44:57,445
[romantic saxophone playing]
1318
00:44:57,486 --> 00:44:59,572
and all of a sudden,
she looks at you,
1319
00:45:00,573 --> 00:45:01,865
and she realizes...
1320
00:45:03,284 --> 00:45:05,118
Now, is it the music?
1321
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,036
Is it the wine?
1322
00:45:06,078 --> 00:45:07,120
Is it what she's
wanted all along?
1323
00:45:07,162 --> 00:45:08,956
She doesn't know.
It doesn't matter.
1324
00:45:08,997 --> 00:45:10,082
All of a sudden,
1325
00:45:10,123 --> 00:45:11,292
she kinda likes the
way your erection feels
1326
00:45:11,334 --> 00:45:12,293
pressed against her hip.
1327
00:45:12,335 --> 00:45:14,044
Hey, get outta here!
1328
00:45:14,086 --> 00:45:15,170
Next thing you know,
1329
00:45:15,212 --> 00:45:16,672
it's a Wednesday
afternoon between classes.
1330
00:45:16,714 --> 00:45:19,216
You're fuckin' in a janitor's
closet in New Cabell Hall.
1331
00:45:19,258 --> 00:45:20,926
I don't think she'd do
it in a janitor's closet.
1332
00:45:20,968 --> 00:45:22,261
Dude, I don't know.
1333
00:45:22,303 --> 00:45:24,137
She's got that secret freak
thing going pretty good.
1334
00:45:24,179 --> 00:45:25,180
How do you know?
1335
00:45:26,307 --> 00:45:28,934
Because it's like my
sixth and seventh sense.
1336
00:45:28,976 --> 00:45:30,519
Look, man, I'm not saying that
anything's guaranteed here,
1337
00:45:30,561 --> 00:45:32,313
but I'm saying you gotta try.
1338
00:45:32,355 --> 00:45:33,439
You're running out of time,
1339
00:45:33,481 --> 00:45:34,815
especially now that
she's not coming to DC.
1340
00:45:34,857 --> 00:45:35,899
Yeah, man, that just...
1341
00:45:35,941 --> 00:45:37,109
Sucks hard. I know.
1342
00:45:39,027 --> 00:45:41,364
Come to the formal.
1343
00:45:42,906 --> 00:45:44,867
You will regret it
forever if you don't.
1344
00:45:45,951 --> 00:45:47,370
-Yeah.
-No,
1345
00:45:47,411 --> 00:45:49,580
no, not "yeah."
1346
00:45:49,622 --> 00:45:51,164
Not "yeah."
1347
00:45:51,206 --> 00:45:52,165
Come on, you gotta be amped.
1348
00:45:52,207 --> 00:45:53,459
You gotta be full
of spunk and semen!
1349
00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:55,085
All right! Yes, okay.
1350
00:45:55,127 --> 00:45:56,211
Come on, man.
It's gonna be great.
1351
00:45:56,253 --> 00:45:57,713
Nothing gets girls
going like fancy dresses
1352
00:45:57,755 --> 00:45:58,922
and guys in suits.
1353
00:45:58,964 --> 00:46:00,466
It turns their inner
thighs into water slides.
1354
00:46:00,508 --> 00:46:01,467
That's why weddings are so fun,
1355
00:46:01,509 --> 00:46:02,593
which, by the way,
if this works out,
1356
00:46:02,635 --> 00:46:04,303
I get to be your best man.
1357
00:46:04,345 --> 00:46:05,471
Unfortunately, you're
the only candidate
1358
00:46:05,513 --> 00:46:06,764
at this point, so.
1359
00:46:06,805 --> 00:46:08,015
I will take what I can get.
1360
00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:10,809
Probably what
your 38 women said.
1361
00:46:11,519 --> 00:46:13,103
[Mark laughs]
1362
00:46:13,145 --> 00:46:15,272
Aren't you a
fuckin' clever bitch?
1363
00:46:15,314 --> 00:46:20,319
[door knocking repeatedly]
1364
00:46:20,361 --> 00:46:22,321
[doorknob rattling]
1365
00:46:22,363 --> 00:46:23,155
Ryan, the door's locked.
1366
00:46:23,196 --> 00:46:24,239
That's disconcerting.
1367
00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:26,158
Hey, baby, it's me.
1368
00:46:26,199 --> 00:46:27,535
I just wanna remind you
how much you love me
1369
00:46:27,576 --> 00:46:28,411
and how I make you smile
1370
00:46:28,452 --> 00:46:29,745
like you just took
12 hits of opium.
1371
00:46:29,787 --> 00:46:33,040
-Mark.
-You shhh!
1372
00:46:33,081 --> 00:46:34,249
I love you,
and I wanna grab a beer
1373
00:46:34,291 --> 00:46:35,376
and catch up after all this,
1374
00:46:35,418 --> 00:46:36,502
but you're not my
favorite person right now.
1375
00:46:36,544 --> 00:46:37,628
Oh, that's fine.
1376
00:46:37,670 --> 00:46:38,462
I'm not my favorite
person right now either.
1377
00:46:38,504 --> 00:46:39,755
Great. She gets it.
1378
00:46:39,797 --> 00:46:41,131
Self-loathing always
was your color.
1379
00:46:41,173 --> 00:46:42,132
Did you get the cufflinks?
1380
00:46:42,174 --> 00:46:43,551
No, I didn't get
the fucking cufflinks.
1381
00:46:47,513 --> 00:46:48,722
Hey, buddy.
1382
00:46:48,764 --> 00:46:50,015
We gotta get this
tie tied, all right?
1383
00:46:50,057 --> 00:46:51,809
Let's get you ready to do this.
1384
00:46:51,850 --> 00:46:52,810
I just need a second.
1385
00:46:53,852 --> 00:46:55,020
Jesus!
1386
00:46:56,146 --> 00:46:57,898
-You broke him.
-[Rose] I didn't break him.
1387
00:46:57,940 --> 00:46:59,400
I just need some
time to think.
1388
00:46:59,442 --> 00:47:01,193
-You made him think.
-I kind of want him to think.
1389
00:47:01,234 --> 00:47:02,361
It's a wedding, Rose.
1390
00:47:02,403 --> 00:47:04,321
If the groom starts
thinking, he's dead.
1391
00:47:04,363 --> 00:47:05,280
Come on, bud.
1392
00:47:05,322 --> 00:47:06,490
Let's get you going.
Let's do this.
1393
00:47:06,532 --> 00:47:08,367
He has the right to know
that he has a choice here.
1394
00:47:08,409 --> 00:47:10,035
Hey, Jennifer Aniston.
1395
00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,662
You had your say. Okay?
1396
00:47:11,704 --> 00:47:14,164
Look, I love you both very much,
and there was a time, I think,
1397
00:47:14,206 --> 00:47:15,123
that this would've worked great,
1398
00:47:15,165 --> 00:47:17,209
but that time passed
about a decade ago.
1399
00:47:17,250 --> 00:47:18,877
So we gotta get you ready.
1400
00:47:18,919 --> 00:47:20,379
You get up, you get excited.
1401
00:47:20,421 --> 00:47:21,755
You can't just sit
here stewing, man.
1402
00:47:21,797 --> 00:47:23,090
You gotta get going. We gotta-
1403
00:47:23,131 --> 00:47:25,217
-Just stop badgering
me for a second, please.
1404
00:47:25,258 --> 00:47:26,802
Okay? This is just
a lot to take in.
1405
00:47:28,679 --> 00:47:29,972
[Mark sighs]
1406
00:47:30,848 --> 00:47:32,140
You can't do
this to Julia, man.
1407
00:47:32,182 --> 00:47:33,476
She doesn't deserve this.
1408
00:47:33,517 --> 00:47:34,810
[sighs]
1409
00:47:36,103 --> 00:47:37,605
No one deserves this.
1410
00:47:40,649 --> 00:47:42,025
I want you to be happy.
1411
00:47:44,945 --> 00:47:48,156
I do, I want you to do
what makes you happy.
1412
00:47:48,198 --> 00:47:49,324
I was just...
1413
00:47:50,951 --> 00:47:52,244
Maybe it could be with me.
1414
00:47:55,831 --> 00:47:58,501
[Mark imitates fart noise]
1415
00:48:03,631 --> 00:48:05,424
I don't even know what
that looks like anymore.
1416
00:48:06,634 --> 00:48:08,761
I mean, for years, I
watched you date other guys.
1417
00:48:08,802 --> 00:48:10,303
Cap when you guys were on.
1418
00:48:10,345 --> 00:48:11,514
Someone else when
you guys were off,
1419
00:48:11,555 --> 00:48:12,598
just waiting for my chance.
1420
00:48:12,640 --> 00:48:14,475
All it did was kill me.
1421
00:48:14,517 --> 00:48:15,518
I mean, for Christ's sake, Rose,
1422
00:48:15,559 --> 00:48:16,977
you hooked up with one
of my best friends.
1423
00:48:17,019 --> 00:48:18,311
You told him about us?
1424
00:48:18,353 --> 00:48:19,062
What? No.
1425
00:48:19,104 --> 00:48:20,939
-What?
-Nothing.
1426
00:48:20,981 --> 00:48:21,940
Did you two fool around?
1427
00:48:21,982 --> 00:48:23,066
-What?
-You didn't tell him?
1428
00:48:23,108 --> 00:48:24,151
-No.
-Tell me what?
1429
00:48:24,192 --> 00:48:25,569
-Nothing.
-What were you talking about?
1430
00:48:25,611 --> 00:48:26,820
What were you talking about?
1431
00:48:26,862 --> 00:48:28,071
-I was talking about Ben.
-You hooked up with Ben?
1432
00:48:28,113 --> 00:48:29,281
I didn't hook up with Ben.
1433
00:48:29,322 --> 00:48:30,533
I made out with Ben
at a party once.
1434
00:48:30,574 --> 00:48:32,325
Yeah, I know. I saw you at...
1435
00:48:33,952 --> 00:48:34,953
Wait a minute.
1436
00:48:37,205 --> 00:48:38,206
What did you...
1437
00:48:39,041 --> 00:48:40,208
what did you guys do?
1438
00:48:44,713 --> 00:48:45,881
Did you sleep together?
1439
00:48:51,637 --> 00:48:53,639
-No.
-Yes.
1440
00:48:53,681 --> 00:48:54,932
-Did you?
-No.
1441
00:48:54,973 --> 00:48:57,142
-Yes, we did, Mark.
-Technically, we never slept.
1442
00:48:57,184 --> 00:48:58,977
-Find the loophole, Rose!
-I'm gonna kill you!
1443
00:48:59,019 --> 00:49:00,604
Okay! Look, it was not serious.
1444
00:49:00,646 --> 00:49:01,522
This happened one time.
1445
00:49:01,564 --> 00:49:02,815
It was a one-time thing.
1446
00:49:02,856 --> 00:49:04,567
It happened one, one time.
1447
00:49:04,608 --> 00:49:06,068
-Two times.
-Fuck! Two times.
1448
00:49:06,109 --> 00:49:07,486
It was a two-time thing, but
it was just the two times.
1449
00:49:07,528 --> 00:49:08,529
Shit, three times.
1450
00:49:08,571 --> 00:49:10,363
-Put away the abacus.
-Oh my God!
1451
00:49:10,405 --> 00:49:11,782
Look, in our defense,
we were really,
1452
00:49:11,824 --> 00:49:12,825
really, really drunk.
1453
00:49:12,866 --> 00:49:13,909
Oh, all three times?
1454
00:49:13,951 --> 00:49:14,702
-Two of 'em.
-One of 'em.
1455
00:49:14,743 --> 00:49:15,828
Did you keep a ledger?
1456
00:49:15,869 --> 00:49:16,829
It doesn't matter.
1457
00:49:16,870 --> 00:49:17,830
That's not an excuse.
1458
00:49:17,871 --> 00:49:18,997
You're right,
that's not an excuse.
1459
00:49:19,039 --> 00:49:20,248
Not an excuse at all.
1460
00:49:20,290 --> 00:49:21,124
But if it helps, it really
wasn't even that good.
1461
00:49:21,166 --> 00:49:22,375
Hey!
1462
00:49:22,417 --> 00:49:24,002
Could you please help
me for a second here?
1463
00:49:24,044 --> 00:49:25,045
At least, she's being honest.
1464
00:49:25,087 --> 00:49:26,254
You're right, yeah,
she's being very honest.
1465
00:49:26,296 --> 00:49:27,673
Thank you for your
honesty, Rose.
1466
00:49:27,715 --> 00:49:30,676
Look, this happened really early
in our little dynamic, okay?
1467
00:49:30,718 --> 00:49:31,760
I knew you had a crush on her,
1468
00:49:31,802 --> 00:49:33,095
but I didn't know how
much you liked her,
1469
00:49:33,136 --> 00:49:34,555
and you'd just gone on a date
with Anna What's-Her-Name?
1470
00:49:34,597 --> 00:49:35,806
So I figured you were over Rose
1471
00:49:35,848 --> 00:49:38,559
and it'd be okay
if I jumped on it.
1472
00:49:38,601 --> 00:49:40,352
-Really?
-Or hooked up, whatever.
1473
00:49:40,393 --> 00:49:41,478
I don't know what we did.
1474
00:49:41,520 --> 00:49:42,563
I'm just saying, I never
would've done anything
1475
00:49:42,605 --> 00:49:44,607
if I knew how much
you loved her, man.
1476
00:49:44,648 --> 00:49:46,149
That's why I turned her
down the night she called me
1477
00:49:46,191 --> 00:49:47,985
after she rejected you.
1478
00:49:48,026 --> 00:49:49,027
Shit!
1479
00:49:49,862 --> 00:49:50,946
What?
1480
00:49:52,698 --> 00:49:54,617
What the hell, man?
1481
00:49:55,618 --> 00:49:56,702
That one's on me.
1482
00:49:58,621 --> 00:49:59,997
You wanted to sleep with him?
1483
00:50:03,458 --> 00:50:04,501
Well, come on,
it's not that big a deal.
1484
00:50:04,543 --> 00:50:05,377
We'd already done
it three times.
1485
00:50:05,418 --> 00:50:06,629
[together]
Shut the fuck up, Mark!
1486
00:50:08,756 --> 00:50:10,132
You couldn't stand the
thought of kissing me,
1487
00:50:10,173 --> 00:50:11,925
but you wanted to have
sex with this asshole?
1488
00:50:11,967 --> 00:50:13,802
-That's insensitive.
-I'm sorry. I was hurting.
1489
00:50:13,844 --> 00:50:15,220
You were hurting?
1490
00:50:15,262 --> 00:50:17,723
Yeah, you think breaking your
heart didn't break mine too?
1491
00:50:17,765 --> 00:50:19,474
I loved you, but
I didn't know how,
1492
00:50:19,516 --> 00:50:21,560
and I had just
broken up with Cap.
1493
00:50:21,602 --> 00:50:23,061
I just needed some comfort.
1494
00:50:23,103 --> 00:50:24,938
So buy a Snuggie!
1495
00:50:24,980 --> 00:50:26,523
Don't try to sleep
with my best friend.
1496
00:50:26,565 --> 00:50:28,233
Really, Rose. Not cool.
1497
00:50:28,275 --> 00:50:30,027
Oh yeah, Mark.
I know it's not cool,
1498
00:50:30,068 --> 00:50:31,945
and I really appreciate
that you're the one
1499
00:50:31,987 --> 00:50:33,530
who's teaching me
sexual tact right now.
1500
00:50:33,572 --> 00:50:34,657
That's great.
1501
00:50:34,698 --> 00:50:35,574
I'm sorry, which one
of us came here today
1502
00:50:35,616 --> 00:50:36,742
to ruin a wedding?
1503
00:50:36,784 --> 00:50:37,868
I did not come here
to ruin a wedding.
1504
00:50:37,910 --> 00:50:40,663
Oh, are you reading
1st Corinthians?
1505
00:50:40,704 --> 00:50:42,956
-Son of a bitch!
-Love is patient. Love is kind.
1506
00:50:42,998 --> 00:50:44,416
Love comes in at the
last possible second
1507
00:50:44,457 --> 00:50:45,626
to ruin other
people's happiness.
1508
00:50:45,668 --> 00:50:47,460
Love is five girls
in one weekend!
1509
00:50:47,502 --> 00:50:48,545
That was a good weekend.
1510
00:50:48,587 --> 00:50:49,630
Oh my God!
1511
00:50:49,672 --> 00:50:51,131
Hardly anyone
completes a pentathlon.
1512
00:50:51,173 --> 00:50:52,299
-You named it?
-It takes stamina
1513
00:50:52,340 --> 00:50:53,258
and mental endurance.
1514
00:50:53,300 --> 00:50:54,968
You are a man whore!
1515
00:50:55,010 --> 00:50:57,095
You have the emotional
depth of a thimble,
1516
00:50:57,137 --> 00:50:58,263
and you have no
idea what love is.
1517
00:50:58,305 --> 00:50:59,306
Oh, fuck you.
1518
00:50:59,347 --> 00:51:00,808
You don't have a
goddamn idea about me.
1519
00:51:00,849 --> 00:51:01,809
Give me the ring.
1520
00:51:03,143 --> 00:51:05,062
-What?
-Give me the ring.
1521
00:51:05,103 --> 00:51:06,104
Go get Ben.
1522
00:51:06,146 --> 00:51:07,314
You're demoted from
best-man status.
1523
00:51:07,355 --> 00:51:08,732
Oh, come on, man. That is pa-
1524
00:51:08,774 --> 00:51:10,567
-Gimme it!
-Why? Why?
1525
00:51:10,609 --> 00:51:13,195
Because I slept with a girl you
never dated eight years ago?
1526
00:51:13,236 --> 00:51:14,738
I loved her.
1527
00:51:14,780 --> 00:51:16,531
At the time, I thought she
was the love of my life.
1528
00:51:16,573 --> 00:51:17,991
You slept with the
love of my life!
1529
00:51:18,033 --> 00:51:19,743
Well, now you're
marrying mine!
1530
00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:24,331
What?
1531
00:51:24,372 --> 00:51:25,415
What?
1532
00:51:28,251 --> 00:51:29,211
What?
1533
00:51:30,003 --> 00:51:31,213
You're in love with Julia?
1534
00:51:37,010 --> 00:51:37,928
What is love?
1535
00:51:38,721 --> 00:51:40,055
You know,
1536
00:51:40,097 --> 00:51:41,556
it's this intangible force
1537
00:51:41,598 --> 00:51:43,350
that we don't understand
and couldn't possibly-
1538
00:51:43,391 --> 00:51:44,434
Mark.
1539
00:51:48,521 --> 00:51:49,648
Yeah.
1540
00:51:52,901 --> 00:51:54,444
Man, this is fucked up.
1541
00:51:55,528 --> 00:51:56,571
You didn't sleep
with her, did you?
1542
00:51:56,613 --> 00:51:57,572
No, man, come on.
1543
00:51:57,614 --> 00:51:58,490
I wouldn't do
something like that.
1544
00:51:58,531 --> 00:51:59,574
Give me a little credit here.
1545
00:51:59,616 --> 00:52:01,034
My little sister's here.
1546
00:52:01,076 --> 00:52:02,202
You need to tell
me about her too?
1547
00:52:08,125 --> 00:52:09,292
Oh, Mark.
1548
00:52:20,387 --> 00:52:21,471
Since we're confessing things.
1549
00:52:21,513 --> 00:52:23,015
[playful dramatic music playing]
1550
00:52:23,056 --> 00:52:24,266
I did not want this, all right?
1551
00:52:24,307 --> 00:52:26,059
You had me for
Thanksgiving senior year.
1552
00:52:26,101 --> 00:52:28,645
She was showing me your
spelling bee trophy.
1553
00:52:28,687 --> 00:52:30,438
You were in my room?
1554
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,149
I didn't wanna do this, okay?
She came onto me.
1555
00:52:32,190 --> 00:52:33,525
All right, I told her
no like seven times,
1556
00:52:33,566 --> 00:52:34,526
which I should get a medal for.
1557
00:52:34,567 --> 00:52:36,403
Your sister is
sexually aggressive.
1558
00:52:36,444 --> 00:52:38,196
-[Ryan yelling]
-Oh, God!
1559
00:52:38,238 --> 00:52:39,489
Stop it! Stop!
1560
00:52:39,531 --> 00:52:40,866
I can't fight you
on your wedding day
1561
00:52:40,908 --> 00:52:42,785
-Stop it!
-Slimy son of a bitch!
1562
00:52:42,826 --> 00:52:44,619
I thought of you
the whole time.
1563
00:52:44,661 --> 00:52:45,453
[grunts]
1564
00:52:45,495 --> 00:52:46,454
Oh my God, are you okay?
1565
00:52:46,496 --> 00:52:47,539
[Ryan growls]
1566
00:52:49,374 --> 00:52:50,709
That did not go as expected.
1567
00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:52,836
Fuck!
1568
00:52:56,506 --> 00:52:58,258
I'm sorry! I need therapy!
1569
00:52:58,300 --> 00:52:59,843
You need to be neutered!
1570
00:53:01,594 --> 00:53:02,763
[Ben] Oh, no.
1571
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:04,848
Ben!
1572
00:53:04,890 --> 00:53:06,058
Mark!
1573
00:53:06,099 --> 00:53:07,475
What did you do?
1574
00:53:09,644 --> 00:53:11,188
-Oh, no!
-Whoa!
1575
00:53:11,229 --> 00:53:12,230
Move out of the way!
1576
00:53:12,272 --> 00:53:14,607
-Did you tell him?
-Long story, Claire!
1577
00:53:22,950 --> 00:53:25,452
[playful dramatic music playing]
1578
00:53:25,493 --> 00:53:31,583
[♪♪♪]
1579
00:53:33,961 --> 00:53:36,713
[Mark panting]
1580
00:53:40,342 --> 00:53:41,343
I never would've slept with her
1581
00:53:41,384 --> 00:53:42,385
if I knew how much
you wanted her.
1582
00:53:42,427 --> 00:53:44,596
What?
Not you, me!
1583
00:53:44,637 --> 00:53:45,680
You had sex with Mark?
1584
00:53:45,722 --> 00:53:47,224
She did!
And you made out with her!
1585
00:53:47,265 --> 00:53:48,767
Claire?
No, me!
1586
00:53:48,809 --> 00:53:49,768
I don't remember that.
1587
00:53:49,810 --> 00:53:51,186
You infected every
woman in my life!
1588
00:53:51,228 --> 00:53:52,645
Me?
No, me.
1589
00:53:52,687 --> 00:53:53,814
You slept with Claire!
1590
00:53:53,856 --> 00:53:55,816
-Don't answer that.
-I didn't infect Julia.
1591
00:53:55,858 --> 00:53:56,608
-But you want to!
-What?
1592
00:53:56,649 --> 00:53:57,400
-What?
-What?
1593
00:53:57,442 --> 00:53:58,777
All right.
1594
00:53:58,819 --> 00:54:01,696
Can we maybe just handle
these things one at a time?
1595
00:54:01,738 --> 00:54:02,405
[impact thudding]
1596
00:54:02,447 --> 00:54:04,282
[Mark grunts]
1597
00:54:04,324 --> 00:54:07,953
[Ryan panting]
1598
00:54:07,995 --> 00:54:10,080
I always knew who you were.
1599
00:54:10,122 --> 00:54:11,456
I convinced myself there
was something else,
1600
00:54:11,498 --> 00:54:12,499
and there's not.
1601
00:54:13,876 --> 00:54:15,210
You're shallow.
1602
00:54:15,252 --> 00:54:16,879
You're broken, you're selfish.
1603
00:54:18,046 --> 00:54:19,589
You sleep with women too
immature to know better.
1604
00:54:22,259 --> 00:54:23,718
The reason you sleep
with so many women
1605
00:54:24,594 --> 00:54:26,471
is 'cause you know deep down
1606
00:54:26,513 --> 00:54:27,680
you're not good enough for one.
1607
00:54:36,857 --> 00:54:38,191
You know what? Fine, fuck it.
1608
00:54:40,402 --> 00:54:41,111
Think whatever
you want about me.
1609
00:54:41,153 --> 00:54:42,237
I don't care.
1610
00:54:42,279 --> 00:54:43,363
All right?
1611
00:54:43,405 --> 00:54:46,574
Get your bow tie on
and get to the altar.
1612
00:54:46,616 --> 00:54:49,828
Because if you let her
ruin what you have,
1613
00:54:49,870 --> 00:54:51,788
you are dumber than I
ever would've thought.
1614
00:54:51,830 --> 00:54:52,831
-[Ryan yells]
-Don't!
1615
00:54:52,873 --> 00:54:53,748
Don't...
1616
00:54:54,791 --> 00:54:55,792
touch me.
1617
00:54:57,210 --> 00:55:00,088
[somber music playing]
1618
00:55:00,130 --> 00:55:06,219
[♪♪♪]
1619
00:55:24,154 --> 00:55:25,572
-[Rose sighs]
-Did you get what you wanted?
1620
00:55:27,449 --> 00:55:28,700
Cram it.
1621
00:55:28,741 --> 00:55:32,120
[birds chirping]
1622
00:55:44,883 --> 00:55:46,801
You fell in love with Julia?
1623
00:55:48,678 --> 00:55:49,972
I introduced them.
1624
00:55:51,598 --> 00:55:52,557
I was dating one of her friends,
1625
00:55:52,599 --> 00:55:53,683
and I thought,
"This girl's amazing.
1626
00:55:53,725 --> 00:55:55,435
I should introduce her to Ryan."
1627
00:55:55,477 --> 00:55:56,603
That was stupid.
1628
00:55:57,645 --> 00:55:58,563
Of course, me and
her friend lasted
1629
00:55:58,605 --> 00:55:59,689
about 10 days after that,
1630
00:55:59,731 --> 00:56:02,234
so pretty good run for Mark.
1631
00:56:05,653 --> 00:56:07,489
Is that friend going
to be here today?
1632
00:56:08,240 --> 00:56:09,449
I think she will, yeah.
1633
00:56:09,491 --> 00:56:10,825
Hmm.
1634
00:56:10,867 --> 00:56:13,245
How many women have you
slept with at this wedding?
1635
00:56:15,914 --> 00:56:17,249
Just the three.
1636
00:56:21,544 --> 00:56:24,839
But in my defense,
only two of them were invited.
1637
00:56:28,385 --> 00:56:29,761
[chuckles]
1638
00:56:32,472 --> 00:56:33,765
[Rose sighs]
1639
00:56:33,806 --> 00:56:35,850
So what's he gonna do?
1640
00:56:39,938 --> 00:56:40,981
He's gonna marry her.
1641
00:56:41,731 --> 00:56:42,732
Yeah.
1642
00:56:44,317 --> 00:56:46,069
Hell of a fight, though.
1643
00:56:46,111 --> 00:56:47,279
-Fuck you.
-[Mark chuckles]
1644
00:56:47,320 --> 00:56:50,157
[Rose laughs]
1645
00:56:55,996 --> 00:56:57,122
She loves him?
1646
00:56:59,166 --> 00:57:00,250
Very much.
1647
00:57:01,376 --> 00:57:02,335
She loves him enough that,
1648
00:57:02,377 --> 00:57:04,171
if he were marrying
somebody else,
1649
00:57:04,212 --> 00:57:05,713
she'd tell him
before the wedding?
1650
00:57:10,510 --> 00:57:12,762
That's a very specific
definition of love.
1651
00:57:15,182 --> 00:57:16,308
All right.
1652
00:57:16,349 --> 00:57:18,185
I gotta go find him
and undo your damage.
1653
00:57:18,226 --> 00:57:19,602
Hey, now.
1654
00:57:19,644 --> 00:57:20,895
Fine, our damage.
1655
00:57:23,440 --> 00:57:24,691
Hey.
1656
00:57:26,776 --> 00:57:27,777
Do you ever
1657
00:57:29,946 --> 00:57:32,324
think about the times
that, you know...
1658
00:57:34,909 --> 00:57:37,370
[Rose chuckles]
1659
00:57:37,412 --> 00:57:38,663
Uh...
1660
00:57:40,999 --> 00:57:42,292
Sometimes.
1661
00:57:42,334 --> 00:57:43,960
-Yeah, I guess.
-Hmm.
1662
00:57:44,002 --> 00:57:45,628
-Why? Do you?
1663
00:57:49,674 --> 00:57:51,176
Nah.
1664
00:57:51,218 --> 00:57:52,885
Asshole.
1665
00:57:52,927 --> 00:57:53,803
Asshole.
1666
00:57:53,845 --> 00:57:54,887
Fuckin' asshole.
1667
00:57:54,929 --> 00:57:57,640
[somber music playing]
1668
00:58:00,852 --> 00:58:01,769
Ryan.
1669
00:58:01,811 --> 00:58:07,900
[♪♪♪]
1670
00:58:20,080 --> 00:58:22,999
[bus drives by]
1671
00:58:23,041 --> 00:58:24,501
[phone rings]
1672
00:58:24,542 --> 00:58:25,377
[Mark] Hey, dude.
1673
00:58:25,418 --> 00:58:26,711
[Ryan on phone] Is Rose there?
1674
00:58:26,753 --> 00:58:28,463
Uh, no, I thought she
was with Cap tonight.
1675
00:58:28,505 --> 00:58:29,381
Where are you?
1676
00:58:29,422 --> 00:58:31,299
I'm at Trinity.
1677
00:58:31,341 --> 00:58:33,093
[Mark on phone]
Why would you go to Trinity?
1678
00:58:33,135 --> 00:58:34,969
Rose said she was here.
1679
00:58:35,011 --> 00:58:36,554
Why would Rose go to Trinity?
1680
00:58:36,596 --> 00:58:37,639
I don't know.
1681
00:58:37,680 --> 00:58:39,141
She texted me and
said she was here,
1682
00:58:39,182 --> 00:58:41,059
and it was an emergency,
but I can't find her.
1683
00:58:41,101 --> 00:58:42,102
And she's not
answering her phone.
1684
00:58:42,144 --> 00:58:43,228
Okay, all right. Calm down.
1685
00:58:43,270 --> 00:58:45,188
I'm sure she's fine.
It's probably just a...
1686
00:58:45,230 --> 00:58:47,190
-[door knocks]
-One second.
1687
00:58:47,232 --> 00:58:50,152
[upbeat pop music playing]
1688
00:58:51,403 --> 00:58:53,238
Uh, she's here.
1689
00:58:56,783 --> 00:58:58,076
She might be drunk.
1690
00:58:58,118 --> 00:58:58,910
[Rose belches]
1691
00:58:58,951 --> 00:59:00,245
She's certainly drunk.
1692
00:59:00,287 --> 00:59:01,204
Is she okay?
1693
00:59:01,246 --> 00:59:02,789
Uh...
1694
00:59:02,830 --> 00:59:04,624
Yeah, I think so.
1695
00:59:04,666 --> 00:59:05,875
[thuds]
1696
00:59:05,917 --> 00:59:07,210
Eh.
1697
00:59:07,252 --> 00:59:08,336
[Ryan on phone] All right,
I'll be there soon.
1698
00:59:08,378 --> 00:59:09,712
Okay. Yeah.
1699
00:59:09,754 --> 00:59:10,797
[phone beeps]
1700
00:59:13,633 --> 00:59:14,717
Hi, Rose.
1701
00:59:15,802 --> 00:59:17,053
Hello.
1702
00:59:18,638 --> 00:59:20,223
Whatchu doin'?
1703
00:59:20,265 --> 00:59:21,599
Nothing.
1704
00:59:22,975 --> 00:59:24,436
Is Ryan here?
1705
00:59:25,103 --> 00:59:26,938
Uh, no, he's at Trinity
1706
00:59:26,979 --> 00:59:29,149
because he said you texted him
that there was an emergency,
1707
00:59:29,191 --> 00:59:31,109
so he's there looking for you.
1708
00:59:31,151 --> 00:59:33,278
I know, I...
1709
00:59:33,320 --> 00:59:36,573
That's why I'm here,
because he wasn't there.
1710
00:59:36,614 --> 00:59:37,490
He is there.
1711
00:59:37,532 --> 00:59:38,825
I think you just left too soon
1712
00:59:38,866 --> 00:59:40,452
for him to be there.
1713
00:59:40,493 --> 00:59:41,786
[Rose grunts]
1714
00:59:42,912 --> 00:59:45,873
[grunts]
1715
00:59:47,792 --> 00:59:49,001
Was there an emergency?
1716
00:59:51,045 --> 00:59:52,088
Yes.
1717
00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:53,340
What was it?
1718
00:59:54,132 --> 00:59:55,675
Where's Ryan?
1719
00:59:55,717 --> 00:59:57,802
He's at Trinity
looking for you.
1720
00:59:57,844 --> 00:59:59,804
No, he's not.
1721
01:00:02,265 --> 01:00:03,725
Are you okay?
1722
01:00:03,766 --> 01:00:04,601
[exhales]
1723
01:00:04,642 --> 01:00:05,935
Yes.
1724
01:00:07,187 --> 01:00:08,355
Are you sure?
1725
01:00:10,482 --> 01:00:11,649
No.
1726
01:00:13,526 --> 01:00:14,777
What's wrong?
1727
01:00:15,737 --> 01:00:17,780
We graduate in three days.
1728
01:00:18,906 --> 01:00:20,116
Right.
1729
01:00:20,158 --> 01:00:21,159
Yeah.
1730
01:00:21,993 --> 01:00:23,578
I don't want to.
1731
01:00:23,620 --> 01:00:25,413
[sobs]
1732
01:00:25,455 --> 01:00:27,249
Yeah, me neither.
1733
01:00:27,290 --> 01:00:29,667
I don't wanna go to New York.
1734
01:00:29,709 --> 01:00:31,503
You guys get to
stay in DC together.
1735
01:00:31,544 --> 01:00:32,920
It's not fair.
1736
01:00:32,962 --> 01:00:34,339
Look, New York is
gonna be great for you.
1737
01:00:34,381 --> 01:00:35,131
You're gonna thrive.
1738
01:00:35,173 --> 01:00:36,424
That's your element.
1739
01:00:40,220 --> 01:00:41,596
Cap and I broke up.
1740
01:00:43,848 --> 01:00:44,974
Did you?
1741
01:00:45,016 --> 01:00:46,601
We did.
1742
01:00:46,643 --> 01:00:48,228
And whose decision was that?
1743
01:00:48,270 --> 01:00:50,104
Technically, it was mine,
1744
01:00:50,146 --> 01:00:54,025
but it was his decision
to fuck some freshman in Cancun!
1745
01:00:54,066 --> 01:00:55,652
No, no, no!
1746
01:00:55,693 --> 01:00:56,903
No, let me tell 'em.
1747
01:00:56,944 --> 01:00:58,696
Let me tell 'em.
1748
01:00:58,738 --> 01:01:00,990
Tristan Caperell is an asshole
1749
01:01:01,032 --> 01:01:03,743
who sleeps with girls who
turned 18, like, yesterday!
1750
01:01:03,785 --> 01:01:05,745
[Mark] Rose.
So if you wanna take someone
1751
01:01:05,787 --> 01:01:08,206
who cheats on you with a
girl four years younger,
1752
01:01:08,248 --> 01:01:10,041
boy, do I have the guy for you!
1753
01:01:10,082 --> 01:01:11,876
Why are you so strong?
1754
01:01:11,918 --> 01:01:13,461
[sobbing]
1755
01:01:13,503 --> 01:01:14,629
They're so skinny!
1756
01:01:14,671 --> 01:01:15,713
I know.
1757
01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:16,923
It's not fair!
1758
01:01:16,964 --> 01:01:17,799
Oh God!
1759
01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:20,343
I hate those skinny bitches.
1760
01:01:20,385 --> 01:01:23,095
[sobbing]
1761
01:01:23,137 --> 01:01:24,306
Ow!
1762
01:01:33,356 --> 01:01:35,483
[Rose exhales]
1763
01:01:36,484 --> 01:01:37,735
He cheated on you?
1764
01:01:39,321 --> 01:01:40,780
Rub it in, why don't you?
1765
01:01:42,073 --> 01:01:43,450
Is that the emergency?
1766
01:01:45,201 --> 01:01:46,536
Sort of.
1767
01:01:46,578 --> 01:01:49,205
Plus, I just wanted to
hang out with you guys
1768
01:01:49,956 --> 01:01:51,333
before I lose you.
1769
01:01:51,916 --> 01:01:53,084
[Mark sighs]
1770
01:01:53,876 --> 01:01:55,378
You're not gonna
lose us, Rose.
1771
01:01:55,420 --> 01:01:57,505
We're gonna be living
in different cities.
1772
01:01:57,547 --> 01:01:58,590
So what?
1773
01:01:58,631 --> 01:02:00,007
We're gonna drift.
1774
01:02:00,049 --> 01:02:01,092
No, we won't.
1775
01:02:01,133 --> 01:02:02,134
We'll stay as close as ever.
1776
01:02:02,176 --> 01:02:03,970
[chuckles] Okay, yeah.
1777
01:02:04,011 --> 01:02:05,680
-What?
-That's what people always say.
1778
01:02:05,722 --> 01:02:07,515
They say, "Oh, we're
gonna be friends forever,"
1779
01:02:07,557 --> 01:02:08,808
and then they're
not. It's a lie.
1780
01:02:10,226 --> 01:02:12,312
How could you know that?
You've never graduated college?
1781
01:02:12,354 --> 01:02:15,398
You cannot deny that
it's gonna change,
1782
01:02:15,440 --> 01:02:16,608
and it'll happen
little by little
1783
01:02:16,649 --> 01:02:17,984
till the next time
we see each other.
1784
01:02:18,025 --> 01:02:19,277
It's like, what?
1785
01:02:19,319 --> 01:02:23,573
Like, homecoming, random
road trips, weddings.
1786
01:02:24,491 --> 01:02:26,326
Hey, weddings are fun.
1787
01:02:26,368 --> 01:02:27,243
Imagine us at a wedding.
1788
01:02:27,285 --> 01:02:28,703
We'll tear shit up.
1789
01:02:28,745 --> 01:02:30,788
I wasted two years with Cap.
1790
01:02:30,830 --> 01:02:32,874
Yeah, he wasn't your best
choice, but you know what?
1791
01:02:32,915 --> 01:02:34,000
-We're not gonna do this.
-No, sippies.
1792
01:02:34,041 --> 01:02:35,001
-No sippies.
-Sippies, sippies.
1793
01:02:35,042 --> 01:02:36,294
No sippies, no sippies.
1794
01:02:36,336 --> 01:02:37,253
-No sippies.
-Sippie!
1795
01:02:37,295 --> 01:02:38,671
No si..., thank you.
1796
01:02:39,672 --> 01:02:42,049
Do you know that he
slept with somebody else?
1797
01:02:42,091 --> 01:02:43,801
I heard. I think
everyone heard.
1798
01:02:45,762 --> 01:02:46,929
A freshman.
1799
01:02:46,971 --> 01:02:48,348
A freshman!
1800
01:02:49,682 --> 01:02:52,894
[Rose sobbing]
1801
01:02:52,935 --> 01:02:56,314
[ping pong ball bouncing]
1802
01:02:56,356 --> 01:03:00,067
[crys, pants]
1803
01:03:00,109 --> 01:03:02,278
That's something
that you would do.
1804
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:03,488
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
1805
01:03:03,530 --> 01:03:04,280
I wouldn't cheat.
1806
01:03:04,322 --> 01:03:06,366
-[Rose scoffs]
-I wouldn't.
1807
01:03:06,408 --> 01:03:08,200
You're terrified
of commitment.
1808
01:03:08,242 --> 01:03:09,827
-No, I'm not.
-Yeah, you are.
1809
01:03:09,869 --> 01:03:10,870
No, I am not.
1810
01:03:10,912 --> 01:03:12,038
I'm not terrified of commitment.
1811
01:03:12,079 --> 01:03:13,038
I just need to find someone
1812
01:03:13,080 --> 01:03:15,041
that I'm not terrified
to commit to.
1813
01:03:15,082 --> 01:03:17,084
-That's different.
-Oh, yeah?
1814
01:03:17,126 --> 01:03:21,423
38, was it, or has
that number gone up?
1815
01:03:21,464 --> 01:03:23,716
I wonder, which of the 38 was I?
1816
01:03:23,758 --> 01:03:24,801
Okay.
1817
01:03:28,054 --> 01:03:29,180
I don't count you.
1818
01:03:30,515 --> 01:03:31,391
Why?
1819
01:03:31,433 --> 01:03:33,142
No, Jesus! Stop!
1820
01:03:33,184 --> 01:03:35,812
Look, don't take this the
wrong way or anything,
1821
01:03:35,853 --> 01:03:38,356
but you weren't just
another notch in my belt.
1822
01:03:40,358 --> 01:03:41,484
Oh.
1823
01:03:43,319 --> 01:03:44,404
-Thanks.
-No, taking it the wrong way!
1824
01:03:44,446 --> 01:03:45,697
Taking it the wrong way!
1825
01:03:45,738 --> 01:03:46,906
Oh my God!
1826
01:03:46,948 --> 01:03:49,158
Did you leave any
vodka for Russia?
1827
01:03:49,200 --> 01:03:51,327
Come on, we've already
done it three times.
1828
01:03:51,369 --> 01:03:52,412
Thrice.
1829
01:03:52,454 --> 01:03:53,788
That was two years ago.
1830
01:03:53,830 --> 01:03:55,163
But it was fun.
1831
01:03:55,206 --> 01:03:56,666
-It was fun.
-Yes, it was very fun.
1832
01:03:56,708 --> 01:03:57,709
But we said we would never talk-
1833
01:03:57,750 --> 01:04:00,252
Why are you being such
a vagina about this?
1834
01:04:00,294 --> 01:04:02,672
Jesus Christ, what has
gotten into you tonight?
1835
01:04:02,714 --> 01:04:04,549
Apparently not you.
1836
01:04:04,591 --> 01:04:06,050
Come on!
1837
01:04:06,092 --> 01:04:07,885
I'm throwing myself at you
1838
01:04:07,927 --> 01:04:09,261
with no strings attached.
1839
01:04:09,303 --> 01:04:12,223
I thought this was what you
looked for in a woman.
1840
01:04:12,264 --> 01:04:13,891
-Ooh!
-[thuds]
1841
01:04:13,933 --> 01:04:18,145
[Rose groans]
1842
01:04:19,397 --> 01:04:20,482
Oh.
1843
01:04:23,275 --> 01:04:24,486
[Mark exhales]
1844
01:04:24,527 --> 01:04:25,653
Jesus, Rose!
1845
01:04:25,695 --> 01:04:27,321
Do you really not know
why we couldn't do this
1846
01:04:27,363 --> 01:04:29,991
aside from the fact that
you're fuckin' obliterated?
1847
01:04:30,032 --> 01:04:31,117
No.
Oh God,
1848
01:04:31,158 --> 01:04:32,535
I swear I don't
get you sometimes.
1849
01:04:32,577 --> 01:04:33,620
You're just a piece of work.
1850
01:04:33,661 --> 01:04:35,287
-Oh, am I?
-I just don't even...
1851
01:04:35,329 --> 01:04:38,207
Are you half as
oblivious as you act?
1852
01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:41,669
Who are you calling 'olibvious'
Mr. Fancy Word?"
1853
01:04:41,711 --> 01:04:43,921
Do you have any idea what it
would do to him if he came...
1854
01:04:43,963 --> 01:04:45,923
Ryan! [laughs]
1855
01:04:45,965 --> 01:04:46,758
Okay.
1856
01:04:46,799 --> 01:04:48,635
Come on! Hey!
1857
01:04:48,676 --> 01:04:49,761
What's going on?
1858
01:04:49,802 --> 01:04:51,178
I'm drunk.
1859
01:04:51,220 --> 01:04:52,430
I can see that.
1860
01:04:53,598 --> 01:04:54,599
Are you okay?
1861
01:04:54,641 --> 01:04:55,683
Mm-hmm.
1862
01:04:57,143 --> 01:04:59,103
I have to use the bathroom.
1863
01:04:59,145 --> 01:05:00,062
Are you gonna be sick?
1864
01:05:00,104 --> 01:05:01,898
No, I haven't been
sick from alcohol
1865
01:05:01,939 --> 01:05:03,566
since freshman year.
1866
01:05:03,608 --> 01:05:05,401
Junior year,
St. Patrick's Day.
1867
01:05:05,443 --> 01:05:06,611
Besides that.
1868
01:05:07,945 --> 01:05:11,198
[door opens, closes]
1869
01:05:11,240 --> 01:05:12,366
[Ryan exhales]
1870
01:05:13,951 --> 01:05:15,244
[Ryan sighs]
1871
01:05:16,328 --> 01:05:17,455
-Is she okay?
-[Mark exhales]
1872
01:05:17,497 --> 01:05:18,372
Yeah, man, she's fine.
1873
01:05:18,413 --> 01:05:19,373
She's just...
1874
01:05:20,708 --> 01:05:22,334
drunk and sentimental.
1875
01:05:22,376 --> 01:05:24,211
-She broke up with Cap, so-
-She did?
1876
01:05:24,253 --> 01:05:25,755
But don't do anything
about it tonight, okay?
1877
01:05:25,797 --> 01:05:27,549
She's in kind of a weird
place about it, I think.
1878
01:05:27,590 --> 01:05:28,841
[Rose coughing]
1879
01:05:28,883 --> 01:05:29,676
How do you mean?
1880
01:05:29,717 --> 01:05:31,385
-[Mark exhales]
-I don't know.
1881
01:05:31,427 --> 01:05:33,513
I think she's worried
about moving to New York,
1882
01:05:33,555 --> 01:05:38,184
and she thinks we're all gonna
drift apart or something.
1883
01:05:39,268 --> 01:05:40,645
[exhales]
1884
01:05:44,273 --> 01:05:45,107
Hey, she was looking
for you, right?
1885
01:05:45,149 --> 01:05:46,734
She wanted to see you, so.
1886
01:05:48,986 --> 01:05:50,572
Yeah.
1887
01:05:50,613 --> 01:05:51,906
You think that means anything?
1888
01:05:53,282 --> 01:05:54,283
Yeah, I don't..
1889
01:05:54,325 --> 01:05:55,034
I mean, it could.
1890
01:05:55,076 --> 01:05:56,285
It's a complicated question.
1891
01:05:56,327 --> 01:05:57,579
She's a complicated person.
1892
01:05:57,620 --> 01:06:00,998
[Rose retching]
1893
01:06:01,040 --> 01:06:02,875
[Rose coughing]
1894
01:06:06,838 --> 01:06:07,880
You still gonna tell her?
1895
01:06:10,466 --> 01:06:11,968
Yeah.
1896
01:06:12,009 --> 01:06:12,927
I have to.
1897
01:06:12,969 --> 01:06:16,305
Yeah, I get it.
Just be careful.
1898
01:06:17,640 --> 01:06:19,058
You're the one always telling
me to sack up and do it.
1899
01:06:19,100 --> 01:06:20,560
I know, I'm not
telling you not to do it.
1900
01:06:20,602 --> 01:06:22,604
I think you should.
I just-just, you know...
1901
01:06:22,645 --> 01:06:24,188
-[Mark exhales]
-[water running]
1902
01:06:24,230 --> 01:06:25,272
Sometimes I just think that
1903
01:06:25,314 --> 01:06:26,357
Rose doesn't really
know what she wants.
1904
01:06:26,398 --> 01:06:30,319
-[door opens]
-[toilet flushes]
1905
01:06:31,237 --> 01:06:32,947
I threw up.
1906
01:06:32,989 --> 01:06:34,156
Do you wanna
sleep here tonight?
1907
01:06:34,198 --> 01:06:35,783
Oh, yes, please.
1908
01:06:36,826 --> 01:06:38,035
Oh!
1909
01:06:38,953 --> 01:06:40,287
Oh!
1910
01:06:40,329 --> 01:06:41,788
All right, I'll
get her a blanket.
1911
01:06:41,831 --> 01:06:43,457
You make sure she
doesn't break her neck.
1912
01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:46,085
Oh!
1913
01:06:47,378 --> 01:06:48,212
[Rose sighs]
1914
01:06:48,254 --> 01:06:49,463
Heaven.
1915
01:06:51,633 --> 01:06:52,759
Are you feeling okay?
1916
01:06:55,052 --> 01:06:56,012
Mm-hmm.
1917
01:06:56,763 --> 01:06:58,055
Puking helps.
1918
01:07:00,474 --> 01:07:01,893
I didn't mean
about the drinking.
1919
01:07:03,394 --> 01:07:04,520
Oh.
1920
01:07:06,355 --> 01:07:07,607
I don't know.
1921
01:07:09,901 --> 01:07:11,110
Can you talk about it?
1922
01:07:15,531 --> 01:07:18,284
I'm just really
gonna miss you.
1923
01:07:20,787 --> 01:07:22,329
Yeah, me too.
1924
01:07:22,371 --> 01:07:24,206
[sniffles]
1925
01:07:34,801 --> 01:07:37,011
[light switch clicks]
1926
01:07:43,142 --> 01:07:45,477
Did you have fun at my formal?
1927
01:07:45,519 --> 01:07:47,438
-Of course.
-Really?
1928
01:07:47,479 --> 01:07:48,981
Yeah, of course.
1929
01:07:49,023 --> 01:07:50,066
Did you?
1930
01:07:50,107 --> 01:07:52,318
I had so much fun.
1931
01:07:52,359 --> 01:07:54,361
I'm so glad Cap didn't go.
1932
01:07:55,487 --> 01:07:56,572
Yeah, me too.
1933
01:07:57,573 --> 01:07:59,784
I was worried.
You seemed distracted.
1934
01:08:00,993 --> 01:08:02,369
-I did?
-Yeah.
1935
01:08:02,411 --> 01:08:03,454
I'm sorry.
1936
01:08:06,666 --> 01:08:08,584
I must have been thinking about
1937
01:08:10,127 --> 01:08:11,921
a lot or something.
1938
01:08:11,963 --> 01:08:13,130
You're always thinking.
1939
01:08:14,548 --> 01:08:15,466
[sighs]
1940
01:08:15,507 --> 01:08:16,676
Am I?
1941
01:08:16,718 --> 01:08:18,094
You're always thinking,
1942
01:08:19,053 --> 01:08:20,805
but you never say what
you're thinking about.
1943
01:08:22,555 --> 01:08:23,640
[nostalgic music playing]
1944
01:08:23,683 --> 01:08:25,893
No, I probably don't.
1945
01:08:27,937 --> 01:08:28,979
Mm.
1946
01:08:29,020 --> 01:08:31,232
Do you remember
when we first met?
1947
01:08:32,899 --> 01:08:34,568
Pancakes for Parkinson's.
1948
01:08:34,609 --> 01:08:35,694
Yeah.
1949
01:08:36,362 --> 01:08:38,529
We flipped pancakes
next to each other.
1950
01:08:38,572 --> 01:08:40,783
You sucked so bad.
1951
01:08:40,825 --> 01:08:43,410
That was, like, the second
time I'd ever held a spatula.
1952
01:08:43,452 --> 01:08:44,286
[laughs]
1953
01:08:44,327 --> 01:08:45,496
It was cute.
1954
01:08:47,874 --> 01:08:48,957
I got it, eventually.
1955
01:08:50,126 --> 01:08:51,210
Sort of.
1956
01:08:52,002 --> 01:08:54,212
[chuckles]
1957
01:08:54,255 --> 01:08:56,631
Remember Halloween last year,
1958
01:08:56,674 --> 01:08:58,676
when we went to all
the frat parties
1959
01:08:58,718 --> 01:09:00,928
dressed like Gumby and Pokey.
1960
01:09:00,970 --> 01:09:01,929
-[Ryan] Yeah.
1961
01:09:04,056 --> 01:09:05,725
We looked hella good.
1962
01:09:08,102 --> 01:09:08,895
We did.
1963
01:09:11,773 --> 01:09:14,399
Do you wanna know what my
favorite memory is, though?
1964
01:09:16,027 --> 01:09:17,236
What's that?
1965
01:09:18,404 --> 01:09:22,073
It was when it snowed
two feet in a day.
1966
01:09:22,116 --> 01:09:23,743
We were stranded,
1967
01:09:24,493 --> 01:09:26,202
trying to get home
for Christmas.
1968
01:09:28,205 --> 01:09:30,207
We had, like, exams
on the last day,
1969
01:09:30,249 --> 01:09:31,667
so almost everyone was gone.
1970
01:09:33,127 --> 01:09:34,670
Flights got canceled.
1971
01:09:35,755 --> 01:09:37,506
So we put on our snow clothes.
1972
01:09:37,548 --> 01:09:38,841
[Rose laughs]
1973
01:09:38,883 --> 01:09:43,304
And stole trays from the
cafeteria and went sledding.
1974
01:09:43,345 --> 01:09:46,098
[both chuckle]
1975
01:09:47,224 --> 01:09:48,893
No one could drive.
1976
01:09:48,934 --> 01:09:50,770
Almost everything was closed.
1977
01:09:53,064 --> 01:09:53,981
[exhales softly]
1978
01:09:54,023 --> 01:09:55,817
It was all just white...
1979
01:09:55,858 --> 01:09:56,943
and quiet.
1980
01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:01,948
It felt like it was
just you and me,
1981
01:10:03,157 --> 01:10:05,659
and we had the whole
campus to ourselves.
1982
01:10:08,204 --> 01:10:10,414
We built an igloo,
that was cool.
1983
01:10:10,456 --> 01:10:11,540
[Ryan chuckles]
1984
01:10:12,917 --> 01:10:14,752
And then we stayed
out for hours,
1985
01:10:16,670 --> 01:10:18,464
till the stars came out,
1986
01:10:19,298 --> 01:10:21,801
and you said that they
looked like snowflakes.
1987
01:10:21,843 --> 01:10:27,932
[♪♪♪]
1988
01:10:33,187 --> 01:10:35,689
What's your favorite memory?
1989
01:10:53,749 --> 01:10:55,042
[Rose moans]
1990
01:11:07,679 --> 01:11:09,348
I love you, Ryan.
1991
01:11:17,523 --> 01:11:18,649
Goodnight, Rose.
1992
01:11:27,658 --> 01:11:28,700
[lamp clicks off]
1993
01:11:29,618 --> 01:11:32,329
[reflective folk music playing]
1994
01:11:32,371 --> 01:11:38,460
[♪♪♪]
1995
01:11:48,054 --> 01:11:51,265
♪ I've never been
this far before ♪
1996
01:11:51,307 --> 01:11:54,018
♪ Waves across the railing ♪
1997
01:11:54,059 --> 01:11:58,105
♪ And I've somehow lost
the lights of shore ♪
1998
01:11:58,147 --> 01:12:01,150
♪ And the outboard
motor's failing ♪
1999
01:12:02,860 --> 01:12:05,321
♪ Have I ever been
this turned around ♪
2000
01:12:05,362 --> 01:12:08,490
♪ Have I been more
at your mercy ♪
2001
01:12:09,700 --> 01:12:10,868
♪ It's cold, I'm stoned ♪
2002
01:12:10,910 --> 01:12:12,536
♪ I'm watching
the boat go down ♪
2003
01:12:12,577 --> 01:12:15,789
♪ I'm yours to help or hurt me ♪
2004
01:12:15,831 --> 01:12:17,541
♪ Horse no rider ♪
2005
01:12:19,543 --> 01:12:22,046
♪ Horse no rider ♪
2006
01:12:24,840 --> 01:12:26,968
♪ Horse no rider ♪
2007
01:12:27,009 --> 01:12:29,803
♪ Coming through ♪
2008
01:12:29,845 --> 01:12:32,056
♪ I'm runnin' ♪
2009
01:12:32,098 --> 01:12:35,392
[vocalizing]
2010
01:12:37,228 --> 01:12:39,230
♪ I'm runnin' ♪
2011
01:12:39,271 --> 01:12:43,067
[vocalizing]
2012
01:12:46,195 --> 01:12:49,198
♪ Make my way the best I can ♪
2013
01:12:49,240 --> 01:12:51,909
♪ Fog against the headlights ♪
2014
01:12:51,951 --> 01:12:55,037
♪ And the pale captor waiting ♪
2015
01:12:55,079 --> 01:12:59,416
♪ At each turning
in the roadside ♪
2016
01:13:00,667 --> 01:13:03,295
♪ Has my hunger ever
been more plain ♪
2017
01:13:03,337 --> 01:13:06,465
♪ Has my need ever
been more naked ♪
2018
01:13:07,841 --> 01:13:10,636
♪ It's too late in the
evening to be ashamed ♪
2019
01:13:10,677 --> 01:13:13,680
♪ If you're offering,
I'll take it ♪
2020
01:13:13,722 --> 01:13:15,557
♪ Horse no rider ♪
2021
01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:20,021
♪ Horse no rider ♪
2022
01:13:20,062 --> 01:13:22,898
[birds chirping]
2023
01:13:22,940 --> 01:13:24,691
♪ Horse no rider ♪
2024
01:13:24,733 --> 01:13:26,402
♪ Coming through ♪
2025
01:13:26,443 --> 01:13:28,320
[birds chirping]
2026
01:13:28,362 --> 01:13:30,489
[distant chattering]
2027
01:13:30,531 --> 01:13:31,448
The one that got away.
2028
01:13:31,490 --> 01:13:32,533
Go away, Mark.
2029
01:13:35,036 --> 01:13:36,120
I...
2030
01:13:37,288 --> 01:13:38,497
got your cufflinks.
2031
01:13:40,582 --> 01:13:42,209
She's not the
one that got away.
2032
01:13:44,086 --> 01:13:46,255
Everyone says it's better
to have loved and lost.
2033
01:13:47,423 --> 01:13:48,632
No one ever says, "It's
better to have loved,
2034
01:13:48,674 --> 01:13:49,758
but never gotten."
2035
01:13:52,386 --> 01:13:54,180
You know, it's funny.
2036
01:13:54,221 --> 01:13:55,389
I used to hope for this.
2037
01:13:57,099 --> 01:13:58,267
I thought it didn't
matter who I was with.
2038
01:13:58,309 --> 01:13:59,684
I wanted Rosalyn
Baker to come in
2039
01:13:59,726 --> 01:14:00,894
with a declaration of love,
2040
01:14:00,936 --> 01:14:02,229
and we'd run off together.
2041
01:14:05,899 --> 01:14:07,068
I thought that's what I wanted.
2042
01:14:09,111 --> 01:14:10,321
Yeah, man, but you
know what they say,
2043
01:14:10,362 --> 01:14:11,822
"Wishes are like assholes."
2044
01:14:14,575 --> 01:14:16,118
That's not what they say.
2045
01:14:16,160 --> 01:14:17,577
Sure it is.
2046
01:14:17,619 --> 01:14:20,456
No, the expression is
"excuses are like assholes."
2047
01:14:22,333 --> 01:14:23,542
Right.
2048
01:14:25,211 --> 01:14:26,378
Well, maybe wishes
are like assholes.
2049
01:14:26,420 --> 01:14:27,838
Why would wishes
be like assholes?
2050
01:14:27,879 --> 01:14:29,131
I don't know, man. I'm just...
2051
01:14:30,424 --> 01:14:31,967
trying to find the words to say.
2052
01:14:36,430 --> 01:14:38,182
I never thought the
other woman would be Jules.
2053
01:14:43,937 --> 01:14:45,731
You know, my
father, when I was 14,
2054
01:14:45,772 --> 01:14:49,276
he gave me a talking to
about the fairer sex.
2055
01:14:50,818 --> 01:14:52,821
You know, he knew that when
you see a really pretty girl,
2056
01:14:52,863 --> 01:14:55,407
your first instinct is to
clam up and get nervous,
2057
01:14:55,449 --> 01:14:56,867
which makes you say
something stupid,
2058
01:14:56,908 --> 01:14:59,327
and you want to dip your balls
into a blender and just...
2059
01:14:59,370 --> 01:15:01,122
[imitates blender whirring]
2060
01:15:04,166 --> 01:15:05,251
So he said,
2061
01:15:06,085 --> 01:15:08,754
"Mark, when you see
a really pretty girl,
2062
01:15:08,795 --> 01:15:10,881
you just imagine her
sitting on the pot,
2063
01:15:11,757 --> 01:15:13,134
because, son,
2064
01:15:13,175 --> 01:15:15,302
even the most beautiful
woman you meet has taken big,
2065
01:15:15,344 --> 01:15:17,804
terrible-smelling shits
just like you have."
2066
01:15:20,099 --> 01:15:21,267
That's beautiful.
2067
01:15:24,853 --> 01:15:26,313
I know how much you loved her,
2068
01:15:29,275 --> 01:15:30,234
and I rooted for you.
2069
01:15:30,276 --> 01:15:31,568
You know I did.
2070
01:15:35,322 --> 01:15:36,448
Can I ask you something?
2071
01:15:39,118 --> 01:15:40,244
Is Julia perfect?
2072
01:15:41,412 --> 01:15:42,496
-What?
-Well, I don't know.
2073
01:15:42,538 --> 01:15:44,290
I mean, you know,
I think she is,
2074
01:15:44,331 --> 01:15:45,957
but you probably know
her better than I do,
2075
01:15:45,999 --> 01:15:47,959
so I'm just wondering
if she's perfect.
2076
01:15:49,086 --> 01:15:50,212
No.
2077
01:15:50,254 --> 01:15:51,672
Really? Weird.
2078
01:15:52,798 --> 01:15:53,757
You sure?
2079
01:15:54,550 --> 01:15:55,676
Mm-hmm.
2080
01:15:55,717 --> 01:15:56,760
Hmm?
2081
01:15:59,180 --> 01:16:00,847
What if I'd ask you that
about Rose senior year?
2082
01:16:04,851 --> 01:16:06,019
You loved her, you did,
2083
01:16:06,061 --> 01:16:07,563
but you also idealized
her a little bit.
2084
01:16:07,604 --> 01:16:10,149
And that's poison.
2085
01:16:10,191 --> 01:16:11,650
I mean, it's wonderful,
2086
01:16:11,692 --> 01:16:13,902
sweet, delicious poison.
2087
01:16:14,820 --> 01:16:16,738
You thought Rose shit
flowers and Hershey's Kisses,
2088
01:16:16,780 --> 01:16:17,573
but she doesn't.
2089
01:16:17,614 --> 01:16:19,200
She shits shit.
2090
01:16:20,784 --> 01:16:22,369
But you held onto
her in this, like,
2091
01:16:22,411 --> 01:16:24,538
perfect crystalline form,
2092
01:16:24,580 --> 01:16:26,790
and eventually it's
gotta turn over.
2093
01:16:26,832 --> 01:16:28,875
You know, it has to get real.
2094
01:16:28,917 --> 01:16:30,336
And what you and Julia have,
2095
01:16:32,588 --> 01:16:33,672
it's very real.
2096
01:16:35,006 --> 01:16:36,091
And I don't get that.
2097
01:16:36,133 --> 01:16:37,218
You know, to me,
2098
01:16:37,259 --> 01:16:38,510
she's still the perfect woman.
2099
01:16:39,303 --> 01:16:40,762
And my stupid male
brain keeps saying,
2100
01:16:40,804 --> 01:16:42,306
"Well, maybe if you'd
kept her for yourself,
2101
01:16:42,348 --> 01:16:43,432
it'd be you up here today."
2102
01:16:43,474 --> 01:16:44,225
I mean, it's stupid.
2103
01:16:44,266 --> 01:16:46,393
It's insane. It's a fantasy.
2104
01:16:46,434 --> 01:16:47,811
You don't need a fantasy.
2105
01:16:49,313 --> 01:16:50,522
You have a reality,
2106
01:16:52,399 --> 01:16:54,526
and you know her better
than you know anybody.
2107
01:16:54,568 --> 01:16:55,736
You know what she looks
like in the morning
2108
01:16:55,777 --> 01:16:57,488
when she hasn't tried one iota.
2109
01:16:58,405 --> 01:16:59,740
You know what she
mutters to herself
2110
01:16:59,781 --> 01:17:01,700
when she thinks she's
alone in the kitchen.
2111
01:17:01,742 --> 01:17:02,951
You know what the
bathroom smells like
2112
01:17:02,993 --> 01:17:04,495
when she loses a fight
with Indian food.
2113
01:17:04,536 --> 01:17:06,372
Man, what is
with you and poop?
2114
01:17:07,706 --> 01:17:08,790
I don't know.
2115
01:17:10,376 --> 01:17:11,918
I'll have to consult Freud.
2116
01:17:13,587 --> 01:17:14,671
It's probably bad.
2117
01:17:15,797 --> 01:17:18,049
The point is, is
that you know her,
2118
01:17:20,511 --> 01:17:22,263
and you get to
love her for life.
2119
01:17:22,304 --> 01:17:23,555
So don't trade
that for a fantasy,
2120
01:17:23,597 --> 01:17:24,681
because I have a fantasy
2121
01:17:24,723 --> 01:17:26,141
and I would trade it for her.
2122
01:17:29,019 --> 01:17:32,689
I just don't understand why
you wouldn't tell me about it.
2123
01:17:32,731 --> 01:17:34,358
I genuinely don't remember it.
2124
01:17:34,400 --> 01:17:35,401
[Livia] Oh my God.
2125
01:17:35,442 --> 01:17:38,612
And it happened
before we were dating.
2126
01:17:41,365 --> 01:17:42,199
[Julia] Hello.
2127
01:17:42,241 --> 01:17:43,157
Oh, sorry.
2128
01:17:45,661 --> 01:17:47,120
Oh shit, sorry.
I didn't know this was-
2129
01:17:47,162 --> 01:17:48,163
You're fine.
2130
01:17:52,918 --> 01:17:53,960
Can I help you?
2131
01:17:56,797 --> 01:18:00,133
Um, yes,
I am with the caterer,
2132
01:18:00,175 --> 01:18:01,802
and we just wanted to know
2133
01:18:01,843 --> 01:18:04,305
if you wanted an update on
the status of your food.
2134
01:18:04,346 --> 01:18:05,264
[chuckles]
2135
01:18:06,765 --> 01:18:07,766
Sure.
2136
01:18:10,644 --> 01:18:15,773
Uh, it's being prepared,
and it will be so good.
2137
01:18:15,816 --> 01:18:17,401
[Rose chuckles]
2138
01:18:17,443 --> 01:18:18,443
Thank you.
2139
01:18:20,195 --> 01:18:21,613
While I have you,
2140
01:18:21,655 --> 01:18:24,407
can I inquire about
the four vegan meals?
2141
01:18:24,450 --> 01:18:25,367
Were those prepared?
2142
01:18:26,243 --> 01:18:28,620
Certainly, we made five,
2143
01:18:28,662 --> 01:18:30,497
just in case someone
gets converted.
2144
01:18:31,290 --> 01:18:32,666
Well, that was smart.
2145
01:18:34,041 --> 01:18:35,336
Oh, and, Rose.
2146
01:18:35,377 --> 01:18:37,087
Is there going to be cutlery
2147
01:18:37,128 --> 01:18:39,089
or will the guests
be eating the steaks
2148
01:18:39,130 --> 01:18:40,716
and salmons with their hands?
2149
01:18:40,757 --> 01:18:41,675
Ah, yes.
2150
01:18:41,717 --> 01:18:43,677
There will be proper cutlery.
2151
01:18:45,971 --> 01:18:46,972
You...
2152
01:18:47,013 --> 01:18:49,266
you just called me
Rose, didn't you?
2153
01:18:49,808 --> 01:18:50,976
I've seen pictures.
2154
01:18:53,103 --> 01:18:54,062
Right.
2155
01:18:56,189 --> 01:18:58,023
So I'm guessing you
don't work for the caterer.
2156
01:19:03,697 --> 01:19:04,948
I told him to invite you.
2157
01:19:06,157 --> 01:19:07,701
I hope you didn't think
2158
01:19:07,743 --> 01:19:09,411
that you weren't
invited because of
2159
01:19:11,538 --> 01:19:13,374
petty jealousy or anything.
2160
01:19:13,415 --> 01:19:16,293
Oh, no, I don't think that.
2161
01:19:18,253 --> 01:19:20,213
But I do recall
2162
01:19:20,255 --> 01:19:22,383
he did decide not to invite you,
2163
01:19:23,091 --> 01:19:24,718
which begs the question...
2164
01:19:26,261 --> 01:19:27,513
Why am I here?
2165
01:19:27,554 --> 01:19:28,722
One does wonder.
2166
01:19:30,307 --> 01:19:32,225
You know what? I actually
thought I had been invited.
2167
01:19:32,267 --> 01:19:33,394
-No, you didn't.
-No, you're right.
2168
01:19:33,434 --> 01:19:34,561
That was a lie.
2169
01:19:35,687 --> 01:19:36,730
Uh...
2170
01:19:40,066 --> 01:19:43,612
Do you wanna know when I
knew I wanted to marry Ryan?
2171
01:19:46,323 --> 01:19:47,407
Yeah, sure.
2172
01:19:48,367 --> 01:19:49,951
[gentle music playing]
2173
01:19:49,993 --> 01:19:51,327
He told me once
2174
01:19:51,370 --> 01:19:54,831
that John and Abigail Adams
started all their letters
2175
01:19:54,873 --> 01:19:57,125
to each other with
"my dearest friend."
2176
01:20:00,546 --> 01:20:02,339
And it was something
about the way he said it
2177
01:20:02,381 --> 01:20:03,507
that made me realize,
2178
01:20:04,675 --> 01:20:06,760
all my boyfriends till then,
2179
01:20:06,802 --> 01:20:09,054
I'd never considered
any of them a friend,
2180
01:20:10,305 --> 01:20:13,099
but Ryan had become
a dear friend,
2181
01:20:14,934 --> 01:20:16,562
and he considered me as such.
2182
01:20:19,189 --> 01:20:20,315
It was something distinct
2183
01:20:20,357 --> 01:20:23,109
from our romantic
feelings for each other,
2184
01:20:23,151 --> 01:20:24,611
like a different kind of love.
2185
01:20:27,238 --> 01:20:29,532
Yeah, I know what you mean.
2186
01:20:29,575 --> 01:20:30,659
I know you do.
2187
01:20:33,202 --> 01:20:34,204
So...
2188
01:20:36,331 --> 01:20:37,374
did you tell him?
2189
01:20:41,670 --> 01:20:42,671
Yes.
2190
01:20:44,506 --> 01:20:45,549
Well...
2191
01:20:46,592 --> 01:20:48,218
thanks for doing it
before the ceremony,
2192
01:20:48,259 --> 01:20:49,344
not during.
2193
01:20:50,471 --> 01:20:51,763
I'm not a total monster.
2194
01:20:52,848 --> 01:20:53,807
I know...
2195
01:20:55,601 --> 01:20:57,059
You couldn't be a total monster.
2196
01:20:57,102 --> 01:20:58,812
Ryan loves you.
2197
01:20:58,854 --> 01:21:02,315
Yeah, but he sees
the best in people.
2198
01:21:02,357 --> 01:21:03,316
He does.
2199
01:21:04,485 --> 01:21:05,693
That's what friends do.
2200
01:21:08,989 --> 01:21:10,782
[soft music playing]
2201
01:21:10,824 --> 01:21:12,242
Am I still getting
married today?
2202
01:21:14,952 --> 01:21:16,497
[Rose] I think so.
2203
01:21:16,538 --> 01:21:17,581
Hmm.
2204
01:21:17,623 --> 01:21:18,540
Good.
2205
01:21:19,165 --> 01:21:20,166
I'd very much like to.
2206
01:21:20,208 --> 01:21:21,291
[chuckles]
2207
01:21:25,255 --> 01:21:26,256
Thank you though.
2208
01:21:27,298 --> 01:21:29,510
Sure. But why is that?
2209
01:21:30,427 --> 01:21:33,013
Sometimes I know he's
thinking about you.
2210
01:21:33,054 --> 01:21:35,599
I don't know how to
explain that, but I do.
2211
01:21:35,641 --> 01:21:37,643
It's like he just
drifts off for a moment,
2212
01:21:38,684 --> 01:21:40,562
falls into a memory.
2213
01:21:40,604 --> 01:21:42,188
And I think I
would always wonder
2214
01:21:43,815 --> 01:21:46,151
if he really chose me,
2215
01:21:46,192 --> 01:21:47,818
or if he just took me
2216
01:21:47,861 --> 01:21:50,280
because he never
really had the choice.
2217
01:21:50,321 --> 01:21:51,322
So...
2218
01:21:52,657 --> 01:21:54,200
now I guess I'll know.
2219
01:21:59,956 --> 01:22:01,207
Fuck, that is mature.
2220
01:22:02,375 --> 01:22:03,627
It's not that different
from what you're doing.
2221
01:22:03,669 --> 01:22:05,170
It's pretty different.
2222
01:22:06,922 --> 01:22:08,048
Yeah, it's pretty different.
2223
01:22:12,052 --> 01:22:13,386
So where is he now?
2224
01:22:14,721 --> 01:22:15,681
Well...
2225
01:22:18,475 --> 01:22:20,434
we don't exactly know.
2226
01:22:21,562 --> 01:22:22,646
Hmm.
2227
01:22:25,773 --> 01:22:27,943
One of the gardens, probably.
2228
01:22:33,364 --> 01:22:34,657
He loves gardens.
2229
01:22:34,700 --> 01:22:36,117
Yes, he does,
2230
01:22:37,160 --> 01:22:38,244
Rose.
2231
01:22:43,541 --> 01:22:44,960
Tell him whatever you need to.
2232
01:22:48,129 --> 01:22:49,965
I think there's only
one thing left to say.
2233
01:22:51,550 --> 01:22:52,593
Well, go say it.
2234
01:22:53,760 --> 01:22:55,095
That's between you two.
2235
01:23:03,895 --> 01:23:05,480
[Ryan] What if she
hadn't moved to New York?
2236
01:23:05,522 --> 01:23:06,272
Ooh, hypotheticals.
2237
01:23:06,314 --> 01:23:07,232
Those are fun.
2238
01:23:07,273 --> 01:23:09,067
Yeah, sure. I'll play this game.
2239
01:23:09,109 --> 01:23:10,110
Hypothetical one,
2240
01:23:10,151 --> 01:23:12,821
what if Rose had never
moved to New York?
2241
01:23:12,863 --> 01:23:13,905
Hypothetical two,
2242
01:23:13,947 --> 01:23:16,491
what if I had never
introduced you to Julia?
2243
01:23:16,532 --> 01:23:17,367
Hypothetical three,
2244
01:23:17,407 --> 01:23:18,785
what if Scarlett Johansson
2245
01:23:18,827 --> 01:23:20,871
suddenly appeared and started
to diddle your nutsack?
2246
01:23:21,622 --> 01:23:22,873
Diddle, diddle, diddle.
2247
01:23:22,914 --> 01:23:26,001
[Mark laughs]
2248
01:23:26,041 --> 01:23:27,961
I like those.
Those are all fun hypotheticals,
2249
01:23:28,003 --> 01:23:29,921
but they have absolutely no
bearing on where you are today.
2250
01:23:29,963 --> 01:23:31,548
You can walk down a
million different what-ifs.
2251
01:23:31,590 --> 01:23:33,383
You'd still end up right
here on this bench with me.
2252
01:23:33,424 --> 01:23:34,635
This is your reality.
2253
01:23:35,969 --> 01:23:37,303
Your fantasy's running
off with a girl
2254
01:23:37,345 --> 01:23:38,764
who broke your heart in college.
2255
01:23:38,805 --> 01:23:39,723
To make that your reality,
2256
01:23:39,765 --> 01:23:40,932
you have to go
into that cottage.
2257
01:23:40,974 --> 01:23:42,601
You have to tell Julia,
"Take off the dress."
2258
01:23:42,643 --> 01:23:44,059
Tell everyone else to go home.
2259
01:23:44,102 --> 01:23:45,520
Wedding's over.
2260
01:23:45,562 --> 01:23:48,732
[indistinct chatter in
background]
2261
01:23:51,276 --> 01:23:52,402
Is that something you want?
2262
01:23:55,488 --> 01:23:56,573
No.
2263
01:23:58,491 --> 01:23:59,450
Yeah.
2264
01:24:00,201 --> 01:24:01,119
[sniffles]
2265
01:24:01,161 --> 01:24:02,579
[footsteps approaching]
2266
01:24:06,833 --> 01:24:08,168
Part of me will
always love her, though.
2267
01:24:13,799 --> 01:24:14,758
Yeah, I know.
2268
01:24:18,428 --> 01:24:19,512
Go tell her goodbye.
2269
01:24:33,276 --> 01:24:35,737
Will you be okay with, uh...
2270
01:24:35,779 --> 01:24:37,322
The whole desperate
love of your fiance thing?
2271
01:24:38,364 --> 01:24:39,782
Yeah, man, I feel
really good about it.
2272
01:24:40,992 --> 01:24:42,493
Plus, hey, I got like
seven different Stephanies
2273
01:24:42,535 --> 01:24:44,370
just waiting on my call, so.
2274
01:24:49,584 --> 01:24:51,211
You are good enough
for one woman, Mark.
2275
01:24:59,219 --> 01:25:00,428
I'll see you at the altar.
2276
01:25:02,138 --> 01:25:03,514
Yeah.
2277
01:25:03,556 --> 01:25:05,809
[wistful music playing]
2278
01:25:05,851 --> 01:25:12,315
[♪♪♪]
2279
01:25:12,357 --> 01:25:13,316
[Rose] Hey.
2280
01:25:14,359 --> 01:25:15,318
Hey, you.
2281
01:25:15,360 --> 01:25:16,486
[chuckles]
2282
01:25:18,697 --> 01:25:21,657
I'm so sorry this was...
2283
01:25:21,700 --> 01:25:22,701
Stupid?
2284
01:25:24,035 --> 01:25:25,536
-Yeah.
-Reckless?
2285
01:25:25,577 --> 01:25:26,788
[scoffs]
2286
01:25:26,830 --> 01:25:27,789
Okay.
2287
01:25:27,831 --> 01:25:30,208
Selfish, impetuous,
2288
01:25:30,250 --> 01:25:32,627
dramatic, immature,
2289
01:25:32,669 --> 01:25:33,586
so tactless.
2290
01:25:33,628 --> 01:25:34,629
I get it.
2291
01:25:36,673 --> 01:25:37,590
And it was brave.
2292
01:25:39,050 --> 01:25:40,135
It is worth the risk.
2293
01:25:43,429 --> 01:25:44,597
Sorry it didn't
work out for you.
2294
01:25:46,975 --> 01:25:48,101
I just...
2295
01:25:49,309 --> 01:25:51,146
I just want you to be happy.
2296
01:25:52,355 --> 01:25:54,440
That's it. I promise.
2297
01:25:55,441 --> 01:25:56,484
I am.
2298
01:25:58,028 --> 01:25:59,195
You will be too.
2299
01:25:59,237 --> 01:26:00,321
Yeah.
2300
01:26:09,205 --> 01:26:10,373
I love you, Ryan.
2301
01:26:14,252 --> 01:26:15,253
I'm not...
2302
01:26:15,295 --> 01:26:16,212
I...
2303
01:26:18,256 --> 01:26:19,590
I can't say that to you anymore.
2304
01:26:19,632 --> 01:26:21,300
I know.
2305
01:26:21,342 --> 01:26:22,260
But if...
2306
01:26:22,302 --> 01:26:28,391
[♪♪♪]
2307
01:26:31,895 --> 01:26:33,438
We'll just have to
keep it plutonic.
2308
01:26:33,479 --> 01:26:34,314
[Rose chuckles]
2309
01:26:34,355 --> 01:26:35,273
Yeah.
2310
01:26:36,107 --> 01:26:37,025
Strictly.
2311
01:26:37,067 --> 01:26:39,277
[both chuckle]
2312
01:26:43,239 --> 01:26:45,157
Look, I gotta get ready.
2313
01:26:45,200 --> 01:26:47,118
I can't figure out how
to tie this damn bow tie.
2314
01:26:48,077 --> 01:26:49,454
Here.
2315
01:26:49,495 --> 01:26:51,247
Let me help you.
2316
01:26:51,957 --> 01:26:53,083
My dad taught me.
2317
01:26:56,669 --> 01:26:58,129
-[Rose] I'm Rose.
-[Ryan] Ryan.
2318
01:26:58,171 --> 01:26:59,756
Don't act like that wouldn't
annoy the hell outta you.
2319
01:26:59,798 --> 01:27:02,300
Come on, be my date.
2320
01:27:02,342 --> 01:27:03,634
Yeah.
2321
01:27:03,675 --> 01:27:06,346
And you said that they
looked like snowflakes.
2322
01:27:06,387 --> 01:27:08,849
[bittersweet romantic music
playing]
2323
01:27:08,890 --> 01:27:15,563
[♪♪♪]
2324
01:27:15,605 --> 01:27:16,731
Thank you.
2325
01:27:19,317 --> 01:27:20,401
You're welcome.
2326
01:27:26,825 --> 01:27:29,119
[somber music playing]
2327
01:27:31,162 --> 01:27:34,624
[birds chirping]
2328
01:27:40,421 --> 01:27:41,547
[music fades]
2329
01:27:41,589 --> 01:27:43,174
[sniffles]
2330
01:27:43,216 --> 01:27:44,467
[exhales deeply]
2331
01:27:46,094 --> 01:27:47,971
Did you know ducks
have corkscrew penises?
2332
01:27:48,679 --> 01:27:50,306
-What?
-They're really weird.
2333
01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:51,266
Look at that.
2334
01:27:51,307 --> 01:27:53,101
Oh! Jesus, Mark!
2335
01:27:53,143 --> 01:27:56,354
-Ew!
-[Mark laughs]
2336
01:27:56,396 --> 01:27:57,522
God!
2337
01:28:00,525 --> 01:28:02,818
[Rose chuckles]
2338
01:28:02,861 --> 01:28:04,320
I told you weddings
would be fun.
2339
01:28:06,572 --> 01:28:07,698
Yeah.
2340
01:28:07,740 --> 01:28:09,659
You also said we
wouldn't drift apart.
2341
01:28:12,996 --> 01:28:13,914
Yeah.
2342
01:28:17,500 --> 01:28:19,836
You know, when you and
I were fooling around,
2343
01:28:22,380 --> 01:28:24,382
I stopped because I
found out that, you know,
2344
01:28:24,424 --> 01:28:26,592
Ryan was pretty nuts about you,
2345
01:28:26,634 --> 01:28:28,011
and it seemed like you and
I were just having fun.
2346
01:28:28,053 --> 01:28:29,720
So I was happy to stand aside
2347
01:28:29,762 --> 01:28:32,473
and let him have his shot.
2348
01:28:32,515 --> 01:28:33,641
[sighs]
2349
01:28:33,683 --> 01:28:35,476
But there was part of me that...
2350
01:28:38,063 --> 01:28:39,439
I mean, you're great.
2351
01:28:39,480 --> 01:28:40,565
You know, you're beautiful,
you're smart, you're funny.
2352
01:28:40,606 --> 01:28:42,233
You're just the right
amount of crazy.
2353
01:28:42,275 --> 01:28:43,151
[Rose chuckles]
2354
01:28:43,193 --> 01:28:45,195
Let's face it, I'm
kind of a dick.
2355
01:28:45,236 --> 01:28:47,030
So, I mean, he's...
2356
01:28:49,115 --> 01:28:50,407
he's the best guy I know.
2357
01:28:53,202 --> 01:28:54,955
So I figured if one of
us was gonna be with you,
2358
01:28:56,873 --> 01:29:01,002
it should be him
because he deserves you.
2359
01:29:05,381 --> 01:29:06,883
But then you come today,
and you do all this.
2360
01:29:06,925 --> 01:29:09,010
And, man, I was totally wrong.
2361
01:29:09,052 --> 01:29:10,636
I definitely deserved you.
2362
01:29:12,472 --> 01:29:13,556
I mean, at this point,
2363
01:29:13,598 --> 01:29:15,475
oh man, do you even
think you deserve me?
2364
01:29:18,019 --> 01:29:19,520
You slept with his sister.
2365
01:29:21,606 --> 01:29:23,023
I need a lot of therapy.
2366
01:29:24,692 --> 01:29:28,279
[chuckles]
2367
01:29:28,321 --> 01:29:29,655
Yeah.
2368
01:29:29,697 --> 01:29:30,949
Maybe I do too.
2369
01:29:34,160 --> 01:29:35,077
Hm.
2370
01:29:36,871 --> 01:29:37,914
How about this?
2371
01:29:38,957 --> 01:29:40,416
If we're still
single when we're 35,
2372
01:29:40,458 --> 01:29:41,416
we get married.
2373
01:29:42,752 --> 01:29:43,836
37.
2374
01:29:44,879 --> 01:29:46,506
Really?
2375
01:29:46,547 --> 01:29:48,841
You need those two years, huh?
2376
01:29:48,883 --> 01:29:50,135
You think that's when
Prince Charming shows up?
2377
01:29:50,175 --> 01:29:51,427
He's just out there
flouncing around,
2378
01:29:51,469 --> 01:29:52,929
looking for some nubile beauty
2379
01:29:52,971 --> 01:29:54,222
approaching the tail
end of her thirties.
2380
01:29:54,264 --> 01:29:56,182
-Hey!
-[Mark laughs]
2381
01:29:56,224 --> 01:29:57,267
God!
2382
01:29:59,144 --> 01:30:00,228
All right, 37.
2383
01:30:00,270 --> 01:30:01,229
I can wait.
2384
01:30:07,527 --> 01:30:08,486
[sighs]
2385
01:30:08,528 --> 01:30:09,570
So...
2386
01:30:10,613 --> 01:30:12,073
what do we do now?
2387
01:30:14,784 --> 01:30:17,120
We watch the people
that we are in love with
2388
01:30:18,788 --> 01:30:20,040
marry each other.
2389
01:30:22,750 --> 01:30:24,169
Sounds awesome.
2390
01:30:28,256 --> 01:30:29,507
Yeah.
2391
01:30:29,549 --> 01:30:31,800
[reflective folk music playing]
2392
01:30:31,842 --> 01:30:33,219
[chuckles]
2393
01:30:42,812 --> 01:30:44,522
♪ How ya doin' now, kid ♪
2394
01:30:44,564 --> 01:30:46,316
♪ Staring at the sun ♪
2395
01:30:46,357 --> 01:30:48,026
♪ Driving while you're blinded ♪
2396
01:30:48,068 --> 01:30:49,777
♪ Tryna be someone ♪
2397
01:30:49,818 --> 01:30:51,988
♪ Who you don't even like, no ♪
2398
01:30:53,323 --> 01:30:55,491
♪ You smile while you spiral ♪
2399
01:30:57,118 --> 01:30:58,786
♪ How ya doin' now, kid ♪
2400
01:30:58,827 --> 01:31:00,455
♪ Still in your own head ♪
2401
01:31:00,496 --> 01:31:02,415
♪ You never feel excited ♪
2402
01:31:02,457 --> 01:31:04,166
♪ Like you used to get ♪
2403
01:31:04,209 --> 01:31:06,086
♪ You find it hard
to sleep right ♪
2404
01:31:07,712 --> 01:31:09,880
♪ You miss what
steady feels like ♪
2405
01:31:11,799 --> 01:31:17,638
♪ Well, you only knew love
once and you let her go ♪
2406
01:31:19,140 --> 01:31:23,478
♪ Now you dream of the heart and
the hands you'll never hold ♪
2407
01:31:26,022 --> 01:31:28,691
♪ So tell me ♪
2408
01:31:28,733 --> 01:31:30,735
♪ That you're all right ♪
2409
01:31:33,196 --> 01:31:35,198
♪ And tell her ♪
2410
01:31:35,240 --> 01:31:38,034
♪ The love you have
for her smile ♪
2411
01:31:40,202 --> 01:31:41,954
♪ Oh, you do what you love ♪
2412
01:31:41,996 --> 01:31:43,789
♪ But you fade every month ♪
2413
01:31:43,831 --> 01:31:45,500
♪ And you're quite sure now ♪
2414
01:31:45,541 --> 01:31:47,710
♪ That you won't be enough ♪
2415
01:31:47,752 --> 01:31:48,961
♪ And you're crying ♪
2416
01:31:50,255 --> 01:31:52,882
♪ Still I'm proud
that you're trying ♪
2417
01:31:54,259 --> 01:31:56,177
♪ How ya doin' now, kid ♪
2418
01:31:57,887 --> 01:31:59,972
♪ How ya doin' now ♪
2419
01:32:00,014 --> 01:32:06,146
[♪♪♪]
2420
01:32:08,439 --> 01:32:10,316
♪ I wish someone had told you ♪
2421
01:32:10,358 --> 01:32:12,152
♪ You could feel this way ♪
2422
01:32:12,193 --> 01:32:14,028
♪ Perfect's
what you're used to ♪
2423
01:32:14,070 --> 01:32:15,571
♪ Back in the 3rd grade ♪
2424
01:32:15,613 --> 01:32:18,907
♪ Your papers filled
with teardrops ♪
2425
01:32:18,949 --> 01:32:21,452
♪ You learned how to
make the tears stop ♪
2426
01:32:23,204 --> 01:32:26,207
♪ Well, you've only
known love once ♪
2427
01:32:26,249 --> 01:32:29,294
♪ Don't you let her go ♪
2428
01:32:30,336 --> 01:32:32,088
♪ 'Cause you'll
dream of the heart ♪
2429
01:32:32,130 --> 01:32:35,800
♪ And the hands
you'll never hold ♪
2430
01:32:37,552 --> 01:32:40,346
♪ So tell me ♪
2431
01:32:40,388 --> 01:32:42,557
♪ That you're all right ♪
2432
01:32:44,809 --> 01:32:46,769
♪ And tell her ♪
2433
01:32:46,811 --> 01:32:49,647
♪ The love you have
for her smile ♪
2434
01:32:51,773 --> 01:32:53,568
♪ Oh, you do what you love ♪
2435
01:32:53,609 --> 01:32:55,278
♪ But you fade every month ♪
2436
01:32:55,320 --> 01:32:57,530
♪ And you're quite sure now ♪
2437
01:32:57,572 --> 01:32:58,864
♪ You won't be enough ♪
2438
01:32:58,906 --> 01:33:00,616
♪ And you're crying ♪
2439
01:33:01,909 --> 01:33:04,370
♪ Still I'm proud
that you're trying ♪
2440
01:33:05,538 --> 01:33:07,457
♪ So how ya doin' ♪
2441
01:33:07,498 --> 01:33:11,211
♪ Now ♪
2442
01:33:12,086 --> 01:33:13,129
♪ Life is short ♪
2443
01:33:13,171 --> 01:33:14,797
♪ At least you've
learned it can be ♪
2444
01:33:14,839 --> 01:33:18,968
♪ Now ♪
2445
01:33:19,009 --> 01:33:21,971
♪ So hold on tight to
those who make you happy ♪
2446
01:33:22,012 --> 01:33:26,267
♪ Now ♪
2447
01:33:26,309 --> 01:33:29,061
♪ Find the heart to tell
her how you're feeling ♪
2448
01:33:29,103 --> 01:33:32,690
♪ Now ♪
2449
01:33:34,442 --> 01:33:36,611
♪ How ya doin' now, kid ♪
2450
01:33:42,700 --> 01:33:44,202
[music fades]